Two, two! Two scandals for the price of one! Act now and we'll throw in Bernie Kerik and Judith Regan absolutely free. Now you might think that this is a fantastic deal already, but wait, there's more! We're including Rudy's pedophile priest roommate as a special bonus. Remember! You get the Hamptons adultery scandal, the NYPD accounting fraud, The dirty-dealing in Qatar, Rudy's ties to 9/11's Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, Rudy's incestuous first marriage to his cousin, Rudy telling his second wife he's leaving her in a press conference, ... but wait, there's even MORE! The NYFD has a special surprise to be revealed if Rudy makes it past the Republican Convention.

Period.

Best giggle I've had so far today.

Thanks Tim Grieve for this great perspective on the cascading series of fall-back excuses from the Rudy and Judi show.

I can't imagine that this pair will ever make it to the White House. I mean, really! Dame Judi, the First Homewrecker? Rudy (can't-take-the-Bible-too-literally) the Adulterer? Rudy's pedophile priest room mate? Bernie Kerik's and Judith Regan's romping sexual gymnastics in a secret sugar shack overlooking the smoking ruins of the WTC?

Then there's the Emir of Qatar and Rudy's secret bidness deals.

And we haven't even heard much from the New York firefighters and EMTs yet. Wait until they start running commercials about the way Rudy screwed them before and after 9/11.

How much of this will Republicans swallow before they themselves have had enough? There's so much offal on Rudy's garbage scow of personal history that all the buzzards in Africa couldn't hold down their lunch. But Republicans? Eh, not so much. It just shows how desperate they are.

I worked on contract for QGPC back in the 80s. At least the Wahabbi police quit using the quirt on western women for showing too much arm or leg in Doha. The rest of the place? A real shithole. Dubai it's not. You can have it.

And that, Matthew, is a fairly subjective assumption. I don't know which circles the author, or Katharine Mieszkowski travel in, but here in the real world, people are plenty dirty. The great unwashed are still unwashed.

I see more "hyperdirtiness" than I see "hypercleanliness." I think we are a very long way from losing the inoculating benefits of sharing filth, if there is such a thing.

Just don't do it around me.

Yeah yeah, Joe, all that stuff about Emirs and Qatar (Do you call it "Gutter" or "Cutter" or the now-totally gauche "Kat-Tar"?)

Big deal. The Great American Dumbass can't be expected to process all those business deals and who done what with guys who wear a tea towel and fan belt on their heads. We want some low down dirty funky smellin' poon story.

Is it too soon to ask the question, if Rudi becomes president, instead of Hail to the Chief being played when he enters the room, do you think they'll switch it to B-52s "Love Shack"?

"The Love Shack is a little old place

where we can get together

Love Shack bay-bee, Love Shack uh huh.

Love Shack, uh huh baby, that's where it's at,

LOVE SHACK!"

Is it too soon to contemplate Judi Nathan as First Lady?

How about First Skank? First Homewrecker?

Can you see Barbara Walters interviewing her?

"First Wadee Gewiani, what was it like? The first time you and Rudy did the dirty deed? Did it give you a thrill when you thought about scwuwing a married man? Were you secretly singing, "Doncha wish your wifey was a skank like me?"

"Honestly Barbara, I wasn't thinking about that at all. I was having an orgasm before we even got to Bernie's apartment. I was thinking about the money and the power! Oh Barbara really, I mean look at that ogre. He has more hair on his back than he's got on his head. The old fool had to eat a half a bottle of Viagra like jelly beans before he could even get his pathetic little tallywhacker to pay attention. Really, it was over in about a minute, thank Gawd!"

"Pwesident Gewiani, America's mayor, the hero of 9/11, can't get it up?"

"Not only that, Barbara, but he grunted like a pig and then immediately fell asleep on top of me."

"What a charming stowee."

"It gets better. He started mumbling his ex-wife's name, you know the one, his cousin that he married?"

"He maweeed his cousin?"

"Oh yeah. Incest is nothin' for this guy. He's a real horn dog. He kept pestering Bernie to let him hide in the closet and watch while he was shtupping Judith Regan."

"How inteweesting."

"Anyway Babs, I've got to go now. I've got to keep an eye on that philandering bastard. I think he's cheating on me."

"No shit?"

This was another CNN infoTainment show. No substance. A beauty contest for some really ugly old White men.

They all lost. We lost too.

Um...yes. So now we're measuring our Gods with a ruler. "My God's bigger than your God!"

Bullshit! Whip out your God, and I'll whip out my God, and who ever has the smaller God, has to suck the other guy's God good.

Good God!

Willard.

Willard The Torturer. The Smiling Assassin. The Mormon who believes literally in every word in the Bible. He said so last night. So homosexuals beware. If "Willard" is elected president, he's going to do his best to have you stoned to death.

I fear Giuliani, rightly so. But what I see in the expressions and the words of this utter jackass Willard Romney, is beyond fear, it's more like dread.

Willard. 1971 Horror movie. A social misfit who's only friends are a couple of rats he named Ben and Socrates. When one of them is killed at work, he goes on a rampage using his rats to attack those who have been tormenting him.

Willard. Your next President of the United States.

Oh boy.