Drug mules from Columbia used to fly into Miami with as much as a kilo of cocaine in rubbers stuffed up their bums.

It wouldn't be that hard for a terrorist to get on a plane with a kilogram of C-4 and micro detonator stuck up his ass.

A kilo of C-4, I guarantee you, would cut an aircraft literally in half. But oh-my-god we can't think about that.

We have to go after aunt Maude's wrinkle cream and little Jimmie's Nikes.

The only real reason I can see for the Bush administration punishing the American public this way is because they are making all-out fear-mongering their central re-election strategy. It's just about all they've got left.

I thought prostitution was illegal in Washington D.C.

Oh no. With news of another Bush legal defeat we are certain to have another situation Red terrorist alert any minute now.

$32 grand and she still wouldn't touch his smelly tighty whities.

I'm still waiting for you to explain to the rest of us why you think Jim Webb is a "homophobic mysogynist."

OK Captain Lara, you put me on the spot. But this old combat vet ain't walking into your kill zone that easy.

What does Jim Webb stand for as a candidate? First and foremost, Jim Webb's stand on National Security and the current war in Iraq: He has put out a position paper clearly stating his goal to end our occupation of Iraq and to stop the Bush Neocon Machine from building the permanent bases and Fortress Baghdad Embassy I have written about recently here.

Other things I like about Webb is that he was an advocate for better treatment of our nation's veterans. He will lend his expertise in military matters as issues come before Congress concerning the welfare of our disabled vets and those who served honorably, only to face indifference at home in terms of unfair financial burdens and racial discrimination.

You say just because he served in combat doesn't mean he's going to keep his promises once he's in Congress. Well, I'd sure believe him over somebody who never wore the uniform. (George Allen never served and failed candidate Harris Miller, was a K-Street Ranger, a former Washington Lobbyist.)

"I'm a business guy," Miller said. "I spent my whole life as a business guy. I did work on Capitol Hill for about 10 years." He also describes himself as a "policy wonk." Guess what? I don't want any more goddamn "policy wonks" fucking up our country.

The reason why Jim Webb won the primary is because the people of Virginia see him as a charismatic, qualified candidate to beat George Allen. In a poll taken in January of this year Allen was viewed favorably by 70% of Virginia voters and unfavorably by 25%. For Miller, those numbers are 38% favorable, 31% unfavorable, and 31% not sure. It's that big "not sure" number that tells Miller's story. He's an outsider, a nobody.

And apparently he didn't resonate with Virginia Democrats.

But let's move on, shall we. Captain Lara, you should really vet your authors and writers more carefully before you start throwing around newspaper clippings that you presume to show up Jim Webb. The URL you posted leads to a column written by none other than GEORGE ALLEN'S PAID BIOGRAPHER, and Clinton-hater Kathleen Antrim.

No wonder she did a hatchet job in her right wing column about Jim Webb. She's currently on leave and traveling with Allen's entourage gathering material for the swell biography due to come out in 2007. I wonder why it's coming out then? Hmmm?

I don't care if you "get excited" about Webb, but unless the thought of looking at that Skol-dipping baboon Allen grinning down at you from Washington, you better just hold your nose and vote for Webb.

Finally, I think you have some deep personal reasons for going off on the "don't ask, don't tell" policy and the disgusting homophobia still rampant in our military. I too, have a personal story about a good soldier who took his share of dangerous missions, but had to hide his sexual orientation in Vietnam or risk getting killed by his own comrades. He was a kind friend to me and an inspiration in courage. He is now dead from AIDS. Sad to say but not much has changed in 36 years in the military.

But you go way too far when you cite a litany of wrongs and heap all that on Jim Webb because he made statements (in 1979 for Christ's Sake!) that he didn't think it was a good idea to have gays bunking with straights and that putting women in combat teams might lead to men being distracted from the mission. To date he has not issued an apology. If he did, would that satisfy you? Somehow I doubt it. But to damn him as a homophobe is stretching credulity.

So we're down to negotiating terms like chauvinist and sexist. Well Captain Lara, there was only one guy who ever walked on water and they crucified him. So let's focus on taking the country back from these goddamned fascists and we'll work on the politically correct stuff as we go along. OK Captain?