He's the one who is going to be mopping up Tony and Dan's prime rib and ice cream lunch from Air Force One as they hurl it up all over the deck.

Oh man, what I wouldn't give to be one of the door gunners on that bird that day. Just when Tony and Dan looked like they were about to turn completely purple, I'd let that M-60 roar for a 30-second burst and watch these two candy-asses shit all over themselves and start hugging each other like little girls.

How many "suprise" visits to Iraq does this make for Bush administration officials? A dozen?

I like the way the television media dutifully parrot the White House's choice of words for these visits. They are "suprises."

"I was just in the neighborhood," Bush smirked and paused like Bob Hope, letting the droll one-liner sink in as he greeted some very startled Green Zone troops. Of course then he couldn't resist laughing at his own joke. The nervous troops laughed too. You'd better laugh when your commander in chief tells a joke.

Bush's surprise lasted five hours and you'd better believe that the units of Army and Marines in charge of "palace guard" around the Green Zone were at DefCon 3 and at Pucker Factor 10.

Five hours. Somebody at the Pentagon probably said that's just about all the time that he could have on the ground without some Iraqi spotting him and getting cell phones buzzing all over Baghdad, "Hey Mo, you still got that Four-Deuce mortar tube in the basement?"

Five hours and RUN LIKE HELL! That's Bush's Brave New Iraqi for you. Mission Accomplished!

So he ducks in, ducks out, sleeps all the way home and arrives in the Rose Garden all fresh and full of himself as usual.

This is a six-year nightmare and I just can't wake up.

Gah!

You deserve the star and more.

For a couple of years now I have been using the term "The Great American Dumbass" to describe the same people you refer to as the "Home Audience."

The Great American Dumbass doesn't care about anything that goes on in the world until his own house is burning down and he's hungry. Until then, he's like an adult baby, suckling at the tit of CNN, MSNBC, FOX 'news' and other propaganda delivery systems that whipsaw his emotions but ultimately do not change his attitudes or his behavior.

It's entertainment. None of what he sees actually touches him.

The Great American Dumbass has the attention span of a two year-old. One day, it's time to make Dumbass fearful. One day, it's time to make Dumbass feel patriotic. Another day, it's useful to make Dumbass hate France. Another day, it's time for Dumbass to show compassion for the poor hurricane victims. But a few months later it's time to reverse the compassion and make Dumbass angry. Dumbass is fed images of the poor Black refugees of Katrina as con artists who ripped off tax payers for over a billion dollars.

CNN this morning is getting The Great American Dumbass in a state of outrage and self-righteousness because over $1 billion in FEMA money was squandered on lap dances and caribbean vacations. And what images does CNN put on the screen while they are talking about this fraud? Pictures of Black families applying for assistance in the first days after the storm.

It's clear that CNN and other propaganda outlets want Dumbass to associate all this fraud with poor Black people. So now Dumbass is angry at Black people, not FEMA. Nice trick.

There's not one counterbalancing story on CNN about a Black family who were wiped out by the hurricane and who received a check and used it properly to feed and house their kids and are now back on their feet again.

Today, Dumbass is focused not on the fact that we passed a grim milestone in Bush's war (2,500 dead soldiers) but on the gristly and very entertaining details of Zarqawi's autopsy. Dumbass is dancing around his recliner singing God Bless America and waving a little plastic flag.

Tomorrow, Dumbass will turn on the tube to get another daily dose of shit from doe-eyed women reading from a teleprompter in Atlanta and New York. Who knows what the message of the day will be? Will Dumbass be made to feel outrage, or contentment, or fear, or smug righteousness?

Tune in tomorrow.