Michael, how that phrase came to me as an echo of a time long ago and far away. "Try not to get killed today," was a grunt's axiom from my war 36 years ago.

I was drafted. I didn't want to be there. But somehow, there I was. The Vietnam War had already been raging for seven years when my brand new jungle boots hit the ground. I was as green as my BDUs as I looked around at the tough, cynical faces of the "old guys" who had been in country almost a year.

These infantrymen had been "up country" for most of their tour. Even though I was filled with dread, they seemed to go about their business of finding weapons cashes and setting up ambushes as though it were any other mundane job. For me, my first days with them were spent jumping at every sound, flinching when artillery rounds whispered like a jet plane overhead, on the way to a target miles away. The seasoned grunts didn't even notice. They knew from experience it wasn't even going to be close.

They had little patience for a new guy. You're just supposed to keep your mouth shut and learn by experience. The company medic was the only sympathetic guy in the outfit. He gave me a piece of advice that I've come to understand is the single most important thing to learn in the infantry: "Try not to get killed today."

So it is with our guys in Iraq. Three years in, they know that this mission is FUBAR. Just like six or seven years into Vietnam, we all knew that Nixon was a fucking liar. All the bullshit that comes down from brigade about "freeing the Iraqi people" or "freeing the Vietnamese people" is just crap. You can bullshit just about anybody. But you can't bullshit a grunt.

No matter what kind of propaganda you see on television about how much our guys love freeing the Iraqi people, the truth is, they are only fighting for themselves now. Same as it ever was. You owe it to the guys in your squad, your platoon, your company, to pull your weight and take your fair share of the daily risks so that somebody doesn't get killed doing the job you flaked off on.

Just like Vietnam in the years after Tet in 1968, the soldiers just try to hang on while the politicians figure out ways to save their precious egos and make sure their political party remains in power at all costs. Nixon and Kissinger sat on their asses for three years longer than they needed to, to pull out of Vietnam when it was most politically advantageous to them. While they stalled, about 15,000 more American soldiers died. "Peace with Honor" Nixon called it.

Now I see the same damned thing happening over again, like a living nightmare. Bush and his gang know that Iraq is a fucked-up mess. They know they are going to have to pull out. But they are going to bleed our young soldiers dry while they wait for the most advantageous political opportunity so that they can maintain their grip on power. Our kids are dying so Bush can save face.

Same as it ever was.

To me, there are basically two kinds of war vets. There are those who saw war and now understand that it should be the very last resort of a nation, rather than another tool of capitalism, and a much smaller, tight-knit group of flag-waving super-patriots who desperately crave to be worshiped as heroes, like a junkie that needs a drug.

When they returned from service they enjoyed the fawning attention that was paid to them. They loved reverence and respect from the hero worshipers. But when the praise for their service began to fade, as it does when a past war begins to fade from memory, these guys didn't want to leave the stage. They never could get enough of the limelight and they keep coming back, begging for more praise.

The Swift Boaters are just such a crowd. Fortunately they are only a small minority of all who have served. But they are a highly visible minority. To many veterans like me, they appear desperate and ludicrous. I'm proud of my service, but I put my uniform away 36 years ago. They still go out in public wearing theirs, waiting for someone to walk up to them and give them some of the hero worship they crave so badly.

I look at them as some of war's victims in a way. Playing dress-up, wrapping themselves in the American flag, hanging out where ever they think someone will notice them and give them copious praise, to me makes them look a little foolish. But it's their thing, and it's mostly harmless.

But Swift Boaters, when you go to tear down other veterans, you bring more dishonor upon yourselves than you could ever bring against someone else. If you really did believe in the freedoms you claim you fought for, you would never gainsay another veteran's service just because you disagree with them.

Be careful when you start to nit-pick the service of men like John Kerry, Max Clelland and Jack Murtha, because you smear yourselves more than them.

As for the Swifties need to be constantly praised and worshiped as heroes: The real heroes, in fact the only heroes, are the ones that history will judge. Swifties, wait your turn and have some humility out of respect for the dead.

Every nerve in my body wants to shout "Fire Rumsfeld NOW!"

Bush should demand and get Rummy's resignation over the atrocities, the torture, Guantanamo, the lack of armor for our troops, the apparent breakdown of our military, the fraudulent defense contracts with KBR/Halliburton, Custer Battles, et al, the daily lies, the arrogance, the deafness to advice from seasoned combat military men, and so on.

But no. It's better that Rumsfeld stay in the public eye, right on through to the November elections.