As someone already mentioned, this is clearly an American list - otherwise how could you omit Roger Federer? On court and off he is the sexiest athlete practising his craft in the world today!

He'll never get the recognition he deserves in the US but he is truly valued and loved all over the world for how he plays and the massive contribution he has made to sport in general (not just tennis). Go Roger!

They all look just the same...

...don't stay in a situation that is making you depressed. And it sounds like you are depressed. If you have everything - a great house, wife, car, job and lifestyle and you're still not happy that's depression. You can continue in your current life and eventually you'll start to numb yourself whether it's alcohol, weed, Xanax or a sexual tryst and soon you won't recognise yourself. You won't feel like your self. Listen to your soul - it's trying to help you.

You don't mention the possibility of kids but I'm assuming it's on the horizon. Maybe you're thinking about what kind of life you'd like to model for your children. I know some of my greatest insights have come from trying to be a better person for my son. Maybe your best self is not in a nice suburb and you just want to be the best person you can be when your kids come along.

I will always be grateful to my very kind mother when I called her crying from Germany (for the umpteenth time) because I was so lonely in my little flat on my semester abroad. She told me to come home. She told me I was not a failure and she told me everything would be ok. She was right on all three counts. And I was never so happy to get on a plane as I was that time in Munich. My relief was such that the air steward commented on it!

I too am an outgoing, sociable person - always made friends easily and still do. But nothing clicked for me that time in Germany - no matter what I did! It was not meant to be. I worried that if I bailed on Germany it would show that I couldn't stick at anything and I couldn't live abroad. Well, I currently do live abroad and I have been in my current job for 8 years and married for 10. One experience does not define you!

You may still turn this trip around following some of the great suggestions posted here but if it turns out not to be the best experience you ever had - that's ok - you'll learn from that too. If you decide to go home there's no need to feel guilty. You'll just appreciate your family and friends all the more.

This letter, Cary's response, all the contributer's responses and Doris Lessing's "The Fifth Child" should be required reading before anyone gets married and decides to have one let alone five children. To condense (and grossly oversimplify): "Be Responsible".

There is a lot of bitterness and unhappiness in this forum and in marriage. I am waiting (in vain) for the happily married to charge in and post about blissful they are. I'm a romantic after all...but perhaps the happily married don't read Cary Tennis.

I'm so sorry for the LW and I think advising her to save her marriage by giving "the best, sweetest blow jobs" is insulting.

Did I mention I was a romantic? Oh, and a woman too...

Cary is right. It's about something else that the LW is not addressing.

We had a neighborhood dog that sometimes barked for hours on end but in general was a pretty well behaved dog. However, I obsessed about this dog's barking. When would he start? How long would she bark for this time? I thought murderous thoughts about her owners. I did go and talk to the owners (brought the old bottle of wine) and it did improve. They were very nice about it.

Now I sort of regret bringing it up because there is definitely a "strain" there in our neighborly relations. And in the end my anxiety and obsession about the dog barking was about something else entirely (that I won't go into here). In many ways I have to thank the bloody dog for barking because it triggered something in me that I couldn't ignore. And now I'm dealing with it.

So, maybe the LW needs to look at why this is bothering him so much - and really look deep, deep inside to find the answer. I can almost guarantee that there is something larger that needs to be addressed than the thunk thunk of a basketball.

My one note of caution would be not to tie yourself in knots at this "reach out" from your old friend. In this day and age of Facebook and Linkedin it is really easy for people to look you up and send you a message.

I once had someone contact me after 20 years. I thought it was amazing that he remembered me. I weighted this message with a lot more significance than he did. The message was not a romantic one nor were we looking to kindle a romance (I am married). But I felt like we could become friends - I was open to that. He on the other hand lost interest - quickly! And after a few emails back and forth we stopped communicating. I guess what I am saying is, just because someone comes out of your past and gets in touch with you does not mean they want anything meaningful. It's too easy to send the message - deciphering the meaning of the message is not so easy!

...all beautiful, sympathetic answers in their own way.