A world in which Wesley falls off a boat in the gulf of mexico. Ken Griffey Jr. is there, and he has his own boat. Wesley is battered by the waves and is in serious danger. Ken notices, and as any great American should, he motors over to Wesley to help him out of the water. Wesley, unable to resist his natural urge to spray stats like diarrhea, points some things out to Ken.

"You know that 94% of ocean rescues fail, Ken, and you're old."

Ken strokes his goatee but presses on, determined to pull this fool out of the water.

"Ken, you know that you've rescued 7.4 less people per year since 1997," snickers Wesley, flailing for his life.

Ken, feeling slighted, presses on.

blah blah, drown.

I read that article in the Journal. OF COURSE people who work in baseball are going to say that steroids don't help hitters that much. Don't believe everything you read. As a person who has played a lot of baseball, and watched many guys evolve from pre-pubescent to high schoolers to juice heads, steroids have a huge impact on a hitter. I've seen many guys get far worse because they can't maintain the batspeed because they are freaks. I've seen other guys, once slap hitters, jacking bombs left and right. Don't believe saberman.

In response to the continuation of the story: maybe I ran out of mojo, maybe I was taking a cue from David Chase.

Is from Cincinnati. Did you get that?

Dr. Joseph-Ignace Guillotin?

We ain't that bad. Would anyone here support torture if it could have prevented the 9/11 attacks? No? Well you're foolish and you must live in an enchanted castle in Fantasy Liberaland.

People always talk about it because there is no way to refute it. It's like praising "a tremendous offseason" for any football team that starts 3-0. We need things to talk about, and we like to be able to wrap up uncertainies in little bundles we can recycle. Nevertheless, I think there is a small amount of truth in "knowing how to win." It means something late, late in ball games. It's about having the cool to not boot that routine game ending ground ball. If your team hasn't won in a long time, players often get nervous when a win in within close reach. It's like a girl being so anxious for Prom that she stresses herself a big ugly pimple.

I heard Larkin on Sunday night. I thought he laid an egg, and he will probably sink into the background. But, in his defense, he's pretty green when it comes to announcing.

Moving on. You brought up confidence. I agree with your thoughts. I just can't figure out if you want marginally talented people to admit defeat. Of course everyone can't reach the pinnacle of their field, but I prefer a world (and a country) which lets people think they can. Is Buster taught that he can be anything he wants to be?

I'm done beating my chest for Ohio and Cincinnati. I think you all get the picture. I think it's the German in me. Society constantly reminds us that we're not allowed to be proud of the fatherland, so I resort to pimping SW Ohio. And everyone is right - the notable people end up leaving. To do great in the world you must leave your backyard. Jesus didn't set up shop in Nazareth. I think Ohioans, similar to King's overconfidence in his band, think that nothing is impossible. Eventually we figure it out - but it's the believing part which makes life worth living.

I bet you have a lot of insight. I want to hear what you think about King's articles, not how you've poked a hole in someone else's letter using questionable assumptions. We're sports fans, we all like a 'redemption story'. It took me a long time to quit being such a dick in here - I would like to think it makes things a little better.

We need your voice to stifle America's ridiculous consumer culture. Out of every 5 dollars spent in America, 4 are spent by women. Do you need all of these handbags?? I went on a date the other day with a girl who was carrying around a $600 handbag. Effing ridiculous. Do you need all of these jeans? You're spending America to death. Bottled water, weekly pedicures. Ridiculous. Stand up feminists. Lord knows us guys can't do anything about it - we need to fork over all the money so girls will sleep with us. It's up to you!

The irony in the 'Anya Hindmarch eco-tote' story is tragic.