"A proper hangman's noose has eight turns of rope" per timbuktom, who's usually a pretty reliable, not to mention perceptive, source.

Are you sure? I'd always heard that there were thirteen turns, for superstitious reasons.

"And now, if liberals can cut consumption of foreign water, then maybe conservatives can ..."

No, they can't. Not if the latest trendy tabloid research is to be believed: that the current crop of Americans calling themselves "conservatives" actually are not capable of taking note of that little venue that libruls call "reality" - and adjusting to it, learning from it, accepting it, and maybe even working to modify it.

Mr. Keillor expresses gratitude for learning he's been doing something wrong, or could do something better. Bubba Dittohead would not. Ever.

Current polls suggest that 25-30% of Americans are Dittoheads. Blinded by ideology, in their own world of Vast Rightwing Conspiracy-manufactured "facts." (Not yet measured are the number of leftwing Chomskites, but we can't assume there are none.)

What if half or more Americans are effectively blind to reality?

froggy's right. Software works better for people (who include women, these days) when it's got a better interface.

Reminds me of our old mail server program, Qmail, which would return bounce messages to users that included messages such as:

"Hi. This is the qmail-send program at ourserver.org.

I'm afraid I wasn't able to deliver your message to the following addresses.

This is a permanent error; I've given up. Sorry it didn't work out."

People would often reply to the program with messages such as "Thank you. I know you did your best" or "Thanks for trying!"

Compare this with the doltish messages you get off your Windows PC and its countless applications, messages which are either meaningless to anyone but another programmer, or are accompanied by a pop-eyed, waggling 3D paperclip? Plus a rude noise, no less. Come on! Who thought this was ever a good idea?

I guess this is all technically funny, but I'm just not amused.

... by Mr. Greenspan's shtick, I mean, and not Tom Tomorrow's rendering of it. Bull's eye, Sparky.

And people say Senator Clinton lacks a sense of humor, that she's out of touch with mainstream Americans.

Darth Cheney was right.

I think MoveOn is really onto something, with its 'betrayal' meme, first used on David Petraeus, then on Rudy Giuliani. Betrayal says that we trusted, but were let down - deliberately, and for personal gain. Betrayal implies bad intent by the ones we trusted, not bad judgment by us. Betrayal gets Americans off the hook for electing these bozos not once, but TWICE - or, if you prefer, permitting the two elections to stand, in the face of overwhelming evidence of fraud.

If we were to admit that yes, we should all have been in the streets and on strike when the Supreme Court ruled that George Bush was entitled to the Presidency, and counting the votes could jeopardize that entitlement - and that we DID IT AGAIN four years later by letting Ohio's vote count stand with hardly a peep - well, that would really put a crimp in that righteous rage we are now entitled to feel, by realizing that Bush, Petraeus, Giuliani, and the whole crowd BETRAYED us.

MoveOn realizes that introspection and guilt won't get the Republicans out of the White House, but stirring up anger through the use of the word "betrayed" just might do it.

They call them "Value Voters" because it's easy to buy so many of them for so little.

Had Giuliani, Romney, Mr. Law'n'Order and the others actually appeared, they could have said whatever words the assembled "Value" people wanted to hear, and been believed. Particularly if the candidates were sharp enough to ask forgiveness for their past transgressions and throw in a few "Praise Jayzus!!"'s.

Instead, Giuliani et al decided to keep raking in the big bucks at fundraisers, rather than assuring the big votes. It would serve them right to end up being marginalized by President Huckaby.

Is that the DoD's official name for the "surge"?

If so, it sorta says it all.

This country won't be able to address the "oversize American" problem until it comes to grips with the gut-deep loathing that so many Americans feel towards fat people.

Not "overweight" - because you can be hyper-muscular and end up over the average desirable weight. Not "high BMI" because the Body Mass Index is just a standard height-weight chart boiled down into a single, condemning number. Fat. As in, plumper than the prevailing standards of beauty or health. Having a high percentage of fat tissue, as opposed to muscle and skeleton. (Thus, paradoxically, you can be fat, yet not overweight! Even more bizarre, you can even look good! But I digress...)

The earlier letters confirm that people who have been, or are, fat often feel this hatred and loathing to an even greater extent than less fat people. It's experienced as a moral issue - you're bad if you're fat. You must be made to suffer, until you are thin. Until such time, you will wear painfully ill-fitting or ugly clothing. You cannot begin to live until you're Thin.

So - how's that workin' out for us?