Letters to the Editor
Animus
Published Letters: 20 Editor's Choice: 9
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Talk to them
[Read the article: I used to be funny, but now I'm boring and self-conscious]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I have had this feeling too, usually after I get home from a party. Was I entertaining? Did I bore the pants off people? I think it is/ about fear, fear that we change as people over our lives and not necessarily change in ways we anticipate or like. We aren't the young sparkling wits we used to be, none of us are. I don't think you need therapy (the American panacea for all problems seems to be therapy, when often introspection would do). In your case, maybe a little less introspection would do.
Why not initiate a conversation with them about getting older and changing (you don't need to tell them you have a crippling fear that they will desert you) You may find they have similar fears; be tentative and ginger and, if they don't take the bait drop it. If they do, you may be surprised to learn that they feel exactly the same way you do.
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Yak!
[Read the article: Lost and found]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I wonder how debilitating her "depression" was, if she was still able to secure a book deal and travel around the world.
Sounds like another Chicken Soup for the Soul kind of nonsense. Italian being "more beautiful than roses" is the type of line that has me reaching for the sick bag. The lines of text sound like the (painfully histrionic) travails of 18 year old's first big trip abroad. I wonder if her experience would have been as rewarding if she wasn't keeping it all for publication.
I feel "depressed" when I read about another self-congratulatory memoir when there must be books of quality and insight available to review instead.
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A child is a gift
[Read the article: It looks like my niece is autistic]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Any child is a gift, and all kids are different nad have varying abilities. The LW's niece's life will be shaped by her parents' attitudes, love and care. Having worked with people with developmental disabilities (or learning gifts, as someone else has recently told me), I have seen the differences between children whose parents learned to overcome their sadness and embrace their children and those who never came to terms with their child's difference. So LW's neice may never be President, so what? I've seen parents of so-called "normal" children devastated because Junior wasn't good enough at football or smart enough to be a lawyer.
The child will have some difficulties in life, but these vary in degree from other children, not in kind. Autism can be frightening; reading others' stories may convey the frustration other families are feeling without concentrating on the moments of joy. We tend to concentrate on worst-case scenarios when faced with uncertainty. The sister should try to meet other families of children with autism to share experiences if it's possible, but perhaps after the initial shock has worn off.
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Babies are for life, not just for Xmas
[Read the article: The "Daddy dilemma," one year later]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]First things first - don't any of you have Google? Piper did time for money laundering, but that hardly impacts on her ability to have a child, does it?
I didn't want children until I was about 30. I was under no pressure from my spouse to make babies and we are thrilled that we have a baby who is now 15 months old. Had he forced the issue, we may still be childless. I didn't think of marriage as a big committment, after all, there's always divorce. But a child is a lifetime deal, for better or worse, sickness and health etc. Throughout my pregnancy, I sometimes felt overwhelmed by our decision to breed and a certain ambivalence. I know we're only in the early days, but I love it. It's better than I imagined it could be. Had I had a child before I was ready, it probably would have been hell though. I'm glad I had lots of adventures before my baby came along, so I have no regrets, but it took me a long time to reach the conclusion that I wanted a child. But it's not particularly useful to judge how your child may be on the experience of others - you miss out on the moments of supreme joy, as well as the moments of supreme terror.
My husband does more than his fair share of housework and babycare, but a man can't breastfeed, and much of the early care is down to the woman in the first several months. If Piper isn't sure, she should perhaps leave Larry. He seems to think she's going to change her mind, and it doesn't sound like she will. These people have been engaged for 8 years - they clearly don't make rush decisions, so maybe she should do them both a favour and break if off. His constant goading must be a bit irritating but she shouldn't be surprised if he suddenly leaves when he finds a woman who's willing to be a mother. Either you're in or out Larry - learn to accept Piper doesn't want a kid, or leave. If it isn't a deal breaker, quit talking about it. If it is, start packing.