I was a stepfather who accepted two children as his own. I was their primary caretaker for six years. My wife wanted a unilateral divorce and got one, since we are in a no-fault state. I have no rights to see the kids, and have been cut out of their lives. The ex isn't bad about me seeing them, but there's a definite distancing that happens.

Could I have sued for custody, or even visitation rights? Possibly, for a crap-load of money and strain. Then what? Get to see them once a month for less than 48 hours? I'd still be a visitor in their lives, which is what I am now.

Having had that experience, knowing that any future marriage has about a 40% chance of success, knowing that children go with the mother in almost all divorce cases, I won't get married and have children. Even for biological children, the probability is in favor of me becoming a visitor to their lives, like an uncle really, and a tax-cow in the form of child support. No thanks.

Well, the world is overpopulated anyway.

The funny thing is: I'm a pretty ardent feminist. But that doesn't change my perception that the negatives of current legal marriage far outweigh the positives for men.

This guy's page might give the LW some ideas: http://www.angelfire.com/on2/buddhism/householder.html

The protesters will discover what I did with anti-Bush, anti-War protests during the last administration: It's a waste of time. The TV audience is inured to protests, and their isn't public space anymore to really engage people's attention. If someone REALLY wants a protest to affect people, it needs to be in a shopping mall. That's where society is. That and house parties like MoveOn.org and the Obama campaign did. All we do outside is move from our cars into the air conditioning: There is no public space anymore.

Miniver Cheevy

Miniver Cheevy, child of scorn,

Grew lean while he assailed the seasons;

He wept that he was ever born,

And he had reasons.

Miniver loved the days of old

When swords were bright and steeds were prancing;

The vision of a warrior bold

Would set him dancing.

Miniver sighed for what was not,

And dreamed, and rested from his labors;

He dreamed of Thebes and Camelot,

And Priam's neighbors.

Minever mourned the ripe renown

That made so many a name so fragrant;

He mourned Romance, now on the town,

And Art, a vagrant.

Minever loved the Medici,

Albeit he had never seen one;

He would have sinned incessantly

Could he have been one.

Miniver cursed the commonplace

And eyed a khaki suit with loathing;

He missed the mediæval grace

Of iron clothing.

Miniver scorned the gold he sought,

But sore annoyed was he without it;

Miniver thought, and thought, and thought,

And thought about it.

Miniver Cheevy, born too late,

Scratched his head and kept on thinking;

Miniver coughed, and called it fate,

And kept on drinking.

I see it both ways; I've been on both ends of that situation. On the one hand, I think the entire hierarchical structure of corporate business is demeaning and abusive, including b.s. firings.

On the other hand, I've been in management at a large corporation where it took months and months of paperwork to get rid of the bad apples and would have jumped at any opportunity to get rid of them faster. I was always amazed by the huge percentage of employees that spend their day bitching instead of fulfilling the basic requirements of their jobs. It's like the 80-20 rule where, in this version, 80% of the work is done by 20% of the people. It's tempting to drop the slackers any way you can get away with it, both for business reasons and because they really piss you off.

The flip side of that, of course, is that business loves to give the 20% doing the 80% a plaque and, maybe, a small bonus. When they say you're doing a "good" job, it means you're doing your job and another person's besides.

The whole thing stinks. Corporate structure is inherently dehumanizing for everyone, IMHO, like that old prisoner/guard social psychology experiment. That's why I think it'd be better to devolve into small worker cooperatives. I'll keep dreaming and smoking the funny cigarettes.

I must be hopelessly naive and stupid. Just wish I had that cynical edge. I used to such snarky things to say.

Oops. Should have said that obesity IS a bad thing from a health perspective.

I can't stand Rush any more than the rest of you, but all the anti-fat name calling is pretty offensive to me. Obesity isn't a bad thing from a health perspective, but why is it used as a moral pretext to denigrate a person? It's just mean. If all the same energy had been put into trashing someone on Salon for being a "nigger" or a "cunt," you all would have jumped on the poster for being racist or sexist. Fat–that last bastion of hateful prejudice in America, even though more than half of us are fat. Weird. America is mean and schizo on weight topics.

She sounds like a narcissist to me. But that doesn't mean it won't make a damned fine movie.

Cunnilingus just got less fun. :-(

Laura,

The Chronicles are my favorite books of all time. Like you, they lead me into the world of literature, where I am now a graduate student in English and a poet.

This article and the other one you wrote comparing Oz and the Chronicles have inspired me to write some criticism that isn't Christian. It's been some years, but I've read most of the rest of Lewis' popular works. Need to go back and read some more! I recall in recognizing the Platonic influences in the work when I was studying Greek philosophy.

Rich stuff. Gonna have to buy your new book!