Letters to the Editor
Tara21
Published Letters: 151 Editor's Choice: 10
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same here
[Read the article: I'm obsessed with being a hipster]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]i was always a nerd until i began working in the (rock) music industry - that made me automatically cool. Shallow as that sounds, i really enjoyed being the cool person, after a lifetime of being made fun of.
when i stopped working in music i felt how LW feels now. Eventually other things became important in my life and needing to be cool receded -- but not all the way.
i still cannot get thrilled listening to my coworkers talk ENDLESSLY about their home repair projects and potty training fiascos, etc.
all i can say is, try to dig down deeper into what makes you unique and quirky, really embrace it, and then you really will be a cool person, and other people will see that too.
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tell him when he does it
[Read the article: A cheating bully is ruining our racquetball games]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]when he does stuff like hitting people with the ball, does anyone react? What i would do is call him on his behavior EVERY TIME HE DOES IT. He might not even be aware of how over the top he is, b/c he's so high on his enjoyment of the game. The whole group needs to calmly confront him every time he acts like a roid-rage jerk.
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my sympathies
[Read the article: I'm a jazz pianist, nearly 50, and I need to make some real money!]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]It's hard to break into the non-music working world at age 50 -- emotionally hard, i mean. And contrary to what another poster wrote, being an admin ass't (secretary) is not such an easy job to get -- these days you need to know different computer programs and applications. (Plus, sexist/agist as it sounds, employers will think it's weird that a 50 y-o guy is competing with young women for jobs.)
I'm sure becoming a sessions player has also crossed your mind, and you know how difficult those jobs are to get too. You don't just waltz in and get it. I used to work in the music biz, and cary's suggestion to get into booking is depressing to say the least, not to mention naive -- and it won't pay the bills.
I'm sure at age 50 you don't relish the thought of working tons of part-time jobs to add up to one salary, then hope to afford health insurance.
I'd vote for teaching at private school, especially as being a teacher, you'd still retain that element of performing in front of people. Plus you'd start meeting a whole different circle of people, and might end up getting into a relationship with someone who loves that you are a musician, and doesn't mind supporting you. And, if you already have 2 degrees, you'd probably feel at home in an adademic environment.
Good luck.
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Scratch his itch
[Read the article: I dream of living a heroic life but I fear I'm just mediocre]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I think the real problem here is that LW is antsy at the thought of settling down with his 'good woman.' (For one thing, he says she'd love to get married, but he doesn't return the sentiment; plus, he has plenty of sarcastic things to say about the settled life, including sneering at easter bunnies :)) In order to break out of the relationship he's overcompensating by dreaming up huge, grandiose fantasies.
Maybe he should focus on working out whether he really wants to be with her --- maybe she's the wrong one, maybe she's the right one but the timing is bad, or maybe she's the right one and it's the right time, but he just has cold feet.
Somehow i don't think that picking one fantasy and trying to attain it (let's see -- spiritually saving people, or f***ing beautiful woman?) is going to scratch his itch.
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I agree with SB
[Read the article: I dream of living a heroic life but I fear I'm just mediocre]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Not to disparage dog-saving, etc, but when you have the urge to be large and heroic, somehow just scaling down to 'everyday acts of heroism' doesn't cut it. I'm not saying I have the answers -- maybe there is no answer --
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it's just messed up
[Read the article: My boyfriend's climbing partner let him fall]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Pop psychology and technical jargon aside, i was willing to think that the 'friend' was simply feeling sheepish, and/or too macho to reveal his fear and remorse over what happened (whether or not he was actually responsible). But then he started to act like he was afraid of being sued. And to top it off -- to charge LW and BF for the gas, while the guy is in the hospital with a head injury?? That's just messed up.
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to the Sugarman
[Read the article: My boyfriend's climbing partner let him fall]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I get what you're saying, but it IS normal for people to not always express their emotions. Life is too short for me to figure out why and whether or not this is right or wrong - i see it as one of those things that is hard to change, so i choose my battles in life. I'm willing to bend a little and work with people who can't express themselves with a high degree of emotional intelligence or articulateness, otherwise, i'd have to write so many people out of my life.
of course, yeh, it would be nice if the 'friend' didn't act like such a jerk.
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to the sugary man
[Read the article: My boyfriend's climbing partner let him fall]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]what a cool, interesting post (the different styles of your family members and how well you understand them). Yes, big diff between not being able to express, and not even FEELING.
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bunch of prigs
[Read the article: At her majesty's pleasure]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]these people who feel he 'got what he deserved' -- especially because he 'didn't take responsibility' -- remind me of cheering spectators at the roman arena, watching people getting ripped apart by wild animals. If you're going to be a bunch of judgmental prigs, how about 'taking responsibility' for your own lack of compassion.
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laugh it off
[Read the article: My husband read my journal]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]at this point maybe LW should stop apologizing so much and adopt a 'give me a break!' attitude.
Example: "Yes, i DO hate the way you ... and it DOES drive me crazy when ... but i married you anyway, you big dope!"
Then challenge him to reveal his dark thoughts and doubts about her -- of course he has them. Then they can laugh at how 2 such horrible losers hooked up.
She has apologized, now needs to show some backbone, since she didn't do anything wrong.