Brightstar's kinda obnoxious, and sometimes I'm unsure whether it's right for him to post in a feminist forum like this, or if he's just a troll.

But when I translated his letter into a more polite tone, I found myself agreeing with several of his points. A lot of men in my generation and my father's (I'm middle-age) helped fight for women's rights. And what did men get in return? We're considered rapists, murderers and monsters. While women rightfully made huge gains in what's considered acceptable behavior, men lost options.

One obvious example: Acceptable workplace behavior has been gradually redefined to equal women's behavior. That isn't right.

I used to work for a really liberal company, alongside workers from all over the world. The only group that could be publicly joked about was men. The only group I'm aware of ever criticized for publicizing an after-work get-together for a group was a group of men. Apparently organizing a bunch of friends to go play pool at a club that featured female dancers was offensive to women, even though women were explictly welcomed. But one of the several lesbian groups who used company resources to publicize their club refused to allow any men in the room when they met (supposedly even including serving staff at the restaurant where they met, though that's just hearsay). That's not offensive?

I see no reason why gender equality has to be a zero-sum game, with a winner and a loser. I don't want to take women's gains away. I just want men to be able to make some too. My wife gets to be a real hard bitch at work, gets respected for it, and I'm delighted with that. But let me be seen crying at the end of a sappy movie and I get funny looks. Why?

Thanks for listening.

I should have pointed out in my earlier post that "bitch" is my wife's own term for her role at work, not mine.

Just be glad you don't live near us. A backboard over the garage came with our house. We don't use it, and freely let all the neighborhood kids come use it anytime they want. On a nice day, we often have three or four of them out there, for hour after hour.

I don't like noise either, but you're way over the line in my opinion. There are sounds your neighbors aren't allowed to make (like a constantly-barking dog, or loud music late at night), but for anything else, mind your own business or move. You have no, repeat NO, right to silence in the suburbs.

If you don't know what's allowed and what's not, check your local laws or neighborhood association rules. If it isn't illegal, it's allowed. Don't like that? Get your laws changed then.

I hope you don't take Cary's advice, either. Frankly if you tried that with us, it wouldn't have worked in any way that benefited you. Some creepy neighbor who's lived by us for years without introducing themselves comes over wanting to play with my kid? You'd be lucky to not end up under a restraining order!

On the other hand, if you came to talk with me, politely asking if the kid could take a break during your dinner hour every night, I'm sure we could work something out.

After reading about 2/3rds of the 30 pages of comments, the vote among other people who'd been through it is a landslide victory for "don't go!", with only a literal handful of dissenting votes.

I hope both the LW and Cary take note of that.

Personally, I liked the "have someone beat him with a baseball bat" suggestion. But I'm a guy. Like many of us, I'm often overprotective toward women, and either by nature or nurture we're more comfortable with that sort of violence. On the other hand, my wife says that probably wouldn't be therapeutic for you at all.

As several hundred others have said, what counts here is what's best for you and your children, not for your mom.

"I do find it hard to stomach the idea that the profit motives are such that companies are willing to invest so much money into something so purely cosmetic."

It's 100 million dollars...some movies cost that much to make. It isn't a lot of money anymore, with the dollar barely worth the paper it's printed on. And, by the way, "profit motives are such that" many companies would be willing to grind babies into hamburger and eat them with ketchup. :)

Short-term profit is the only motive a corporation has.

Still, I guess the world needs fools too. You know, there's a really good reason all those SUVs are sitting in the lots unsold. Mark, be sure to write us another article next summer when gas hits $5.

Best laugh I've had today: When a Volvo wagon owner rejects minivans because they're "lame". :)