Dear Editor,

I am a bit disturbed by the letter writers who seem fine with the idea that cops can push around the public and that this is somehow to be expected. News flash: it's not.

Shaun Narine

Dear Editor,

Obama's handling of this situation has been remarkably good. He admitted he made a mistake by speaking without a full grasp of the facts. He also stuck to his guns by indicating that he still believed that Gates should not have been arrested. But, at the same time, he defused the situation by refusing to demonize anyone and using the opportunity to, in fact, humanize all the parties in the dispute.

Obama's willingness to admit a mistake and his willingness to take a reasonable course of action speaks volumes about the man and his overall "class" as a human being. However, it also indicates his political skills. The Gates situation has become a major political issue. Obama, after stumbling out of the gate, is managing it very well.

The hysteria and unreasonableness - on all sides - on this question indicate the extent to which race politics remain one of the touchstones of American society. Even with the election of an intelligent and capable African-American President there is still a long way to go.

Sincerely,

Shaun Narine

Dear Joan,

I just came back to look at this thread and discovered it had degenerated into the usual stupid name-calling, helped along by a dollop of racism.

I know that Salon requires all letter writers to register, but I think that allowing people to use pseudonyms remains a major mistake. Force people to use their real names when they post. That will certainly go a long way towards clearing away the trolls and forcing people to take responsibility for their online conduct.

Sincerely,

Shaun Narine

Dear Kate,

This is an interesting and thoughtful argument. However, I do think that it tries to be more categorical in respect to the attitudes of women than it can be.

The fact is that I have known many women who are, clearly, drawn to unattainable and abusive men. Indeed, isn't this part of the entire appeal - making that which is unattainable attainable? Being drawn to what you are not sure you can have? I had the experience myself where a woman who did not share my interest in her reciprocated only when I had pulled away. Not quite the same as being attracted to the "bad boy", but the principle is very similar in that it departs from being drawn to what is "nice".

I am certainly not saying that all women are like this, and definitely not that it justifies, in any way, Sodini's actions. Mr. Sodini was clearly very disturbed and he may well have been putting out the signal - very accurate, as it turns out - that he was really creepy, desperate and misogynistic. But I also don't think it's fair or useful to pretend that the psychology of many women - and, to be fair, many men- is not attracted by what is "exciting", which is usually not what is "nice".

Sincerely,

Shaun

I take the position that any time anyone says anything about a real person, anonymity should not be allowed. The internet has encouraged people to become both less civil and more vicious and inhumane in their dealings with each other. That is not a right; it is, at best, a privilege - one that should be revoked.

Sincerely,

Shaun Narine

Dear Garrison,

I found your comment on British flight attendants interesting. In Canada, flight attendants here always ask to see boarding passes too. Indeed, I think that I have encountered this same phenomenon in many other countries in the world. Maybe it's only in the US where this is not done.

Sincerely,

Shaun

Dear Veggie Hunter,

Thanks for your note. In fact, what you said touches on exactly what I was going to say. While I appreciate Cary's response and the many letter-writers who have said that Caroline's recovery is her own responsibility, I also think that the situation you find yourself in really does have the capacity to alienate Caroline from you and end the friendship.

It certainly is Caroline's responsibility to take care of herself. But taking care of herself, for her, may mean avoiding situations where there is a lot of alcohol around. That means that she simply may not attend your parties or gatherings if she feels that there is too much temptation. That would be right for her, but it would probably put your friendship on much shakier ground, unless you find some way to work around this.

I'd suggest just asking her how sensitive she is to these kind of situations. If she really does not want to be in the same room with lots of people drinking or with the smell of freshly-brewed beer, then she will take care of herself. At that point, you may have to decide what you need to do if you want to keep her as a friend.

Sincerely,

Shaun