This is one of my favorite corners of the Interweb. Keep up the good work.

I'm a father of four little boys. My wife is an Ivy-League educated stay-at-home mother. We both agree that this is the right choice for us (I have no interest in joining the Mommy Wars, so I make no recommendations for other families). But there are a number of reasons why it's not always satisfying for her:

1. It's frickin' hard work! Both physically and emotionally. I love our kids dearly, but they are a PITA a good portion of the time! That's not a criticism of them, just an observation. They're normal, strong-willed kids.

2. It's thankless work. Sure, nothing beats those moments when our kids give her spontaneous hugs and kisses, but those moments aren't proportional to the time commitment. I get that love too, and I'm only on the kid-clock for a few hours each weekday. It's been observed by lots of people that one good thing about working is that sometimes people actually appreciate you, and it's nice to be appreciated.

3. It can be devoid of intellectual stimulation. My wife can't easily make 5 minutes to read and respond to an article on Salon; she's too busy breaking up fights, cleaning up spit-up (our youngest is 3 months), etc. In our case, we try to make sure she gets out of the house with adults from time to time (book group, local political groups, etc.). She also tutors a bit (she was/will be a high school teacher), which she clearly finds fulfilling.

4. There's no obvious standard of achievement. My wife gets a little sad whenever she reads our college's alumni notes; many of our (demonstrably inferior, of course, ha ha) classmates are doing notable things. She and I know that raising four boys as well as she does is a glorious achievement, but it's not exactly headline material.

I'd be interested in seeing how happy women are over the balance of the whole child-rearing cycle. I know, for one, that my wife will never have to think about "what if I had only spent more time with the kids..."

As a Dad, I'd love to fit more family into the work/family balance. I'd love to work part-time, and spend more time with them. Ideally, my wife and I would switch stay-at-home duty every couple years (and yes, I would probably find it less satisfying in the short-term). But alas, even though she's my intellectual superior, my career track brings home more $, so I get to noodle around on Salon at lunch whilst she's getting the boys to eat the healthy part of their lunch...

What's "thinly vailed [sic] as news" about this column?

It's been an opinion column since day 1, in my opinion.

You can accuse the author of being wrong, but you can't rightfully accuse him of being deceptive.

Does anyone else here think that How the World Works is "news," rather than opinion?

I'm sitting about a half mile from where Emerson's grandpa and his family watched the start of the American Revolution, of which Emerson later wrote:

By the rude bridge that arched the flood,

Their flag to April's breeze unfurled;

Here once the embattled farmers stood;

And fired the shot heard round the world.

and so on. But I digress.

Mr. No Salvation is welcome to come to Walden Pond and observe exactly how close Thoreau's cabin was to the train tracks and Concord Center. It's a nice walk and not exactly a secret.

And remember that Thoreau wrote:

I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived. I did not wish to live what was not life, living is so dear; nor did I wish to practise resignation, unless it was quite necessary.

Note that he's not claiming any great achievement of self reliance (you do recall that Emerson wrote that, not Thoreau, right?) or isolation. I personally find Thoreau rather tedious (try his first book), but save the "carefully crafted construct" BS.

But back to the article:

I have a really hard time pinning any current '"system of pure egotism" and self-regard' on Emerson. Selfishness springs from both too little self-introspection as well as too much.

I'd say most (but certainly not all) of today's selfishness stems from the former.

PS- If you want a Transcendental poster boy for too much introspection, I'd have to go with Alcott.

PPS- Yes, we in Concord know that we take our glorious local history way too seriously. We invite you to come visit anyway.

I'm thinking 6-7 months from now, judging from the picture.

Congratulations! You and your wife's lives as you know them are indeed over. But better, harder, more fulfilling lives await.

Keith,

I'm a Big Tent Sox fan, but what's the connection, Mr. Left Coaster?

I've started loaning money on Kiva- http://www.kiva.org. Supposedly a 0.2% default rate on $3M in loans so far. All it costs me is the opportunity cost of the money I loan, which I would have otherwise kept in my no-interest checking account (we're talking ~$25/loan), so it seems like a low-cost way to help specific people out.