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Sunday, Nov 8, 2009
sacajawea
Published Letters: 108 Editor's Choice: 6
>Sacajewa
>Too bad you have borrowed such a name.
too bad you misspelled it... but anyways...
that's great your kids get to stay in the same school, and live harmonious lives.
many children in such situations get pulled across state lines and end up in silly battles between the parents. it's tough on the kids.
And, trust me, as a child of divorce, even if the kids _look_ like they're doing ok to the parents, they might just be putting on a good face to keep the parents from fighting, or sobbing, or blaming each other, or going off on a bender, or disappearing for years again, etc. The poor kids are often found to be walking a tightrope, to no fault of their own.
Have a look at the book: The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce: The 25 Year Landmark Study by Judith S. Wallerstein, Julia M. Lewis, Sandra Blakeslee
Joint custody works when the parents live near each other, and co-operate civilly and with empathy towards the children. But if the parents were good at behaving like that, they might not be getting divorced in the first place. maybe.
Sending a kid back and forth with a suitcase is cruel. Nothing anyone can say can convince me otherwise.
1. I can see SNL wanting to endorse Hilary 'cuz they would have so much MORE good material getting to play around w/ Bill Clinton impersonations for at least 4 more years. Obama appears more difficult to lampoon.
2. SNL is suffering from loosing Tina Fey as head writer. She was good. This new season is regressing a bit into more primitive misogynistic stuff.
I've been working as an electrical engineer for 20 year now. And I'd say isolation is my biggest problem. Condescending behavior would be the second biggest problem. Abject boredom is the third biggest (could be from isolation tho)
I'm the only woman on my team. I work with great guys, we get along fine. But I'm still isolated. they don't eat lunch with me. they go running together. they don't consider me if they're all going to do something social. It probably has something to do with the wives, that's my guess, from the feeling I get at company parties when the spouses come. I'm single, usually with a different date at these events, I'm kind of cute, and it takes an effort on my part to prove to the wives that I'm not after their husbands. (pu-leez, thanks, but no).
The team I work with, and have been for 7 years now, have become like brothers to me... they watch out for me in certain circumstances, i.e. if I have car trouble I let them give me advice.
Every now and then I get condescending behavior in the office, but I generally fend it off w/ a sarcastic or funny remark, calling them out on it right away. I do know a lot of women who just take it. Tho, I must say, I think it's common for men to underestimate my intelligence, I've just grown used to it (IQ 145) & so I tend to not speak up in that regard enough.
And finally, boredom. beige cubicles, facing this computer all day, doing the same style of work for years. holy toledo. I don't know how these guys stay into this work. Tho, I supposed if I asked they'd say the same thing I would: "the nice paycheck".
I'm more well rounded than this career allows me to be. Perhaps this is why women fall out of it so quickly. I find, in my aquaintance, that the women have far more interests and hobbies than the men do. That could just be my circle. For instance, I don't read PC Week when I go home, I do a million other things outside of the office and none of them have anything to do with electrical engineering. I think some of my male coworkers don't have that boundary and live and breathe this stuff.
Also, I don't think most of my male coworkers have to worry as much about laundry, cooking, shopping, and the lil details of life. I believe this stuff just gets done for them while they're here. I could be wrong, but I don't think so. Even tho I have no kids and am not married I find a lot of my spare time taken up with housework, I can't imagine how the married mom electrical engineers do it.
the reason I haven't left this career is that I have to support myself, and I get paid bank for this work... that let's me read salon.com during the day.
my 2 cents
Tyler - you're hitting the nail on the head there.
That's definitely part of what drives people out of the tech business. free pizza just doesn't hack it, so to speak.
Stock options at start-ups are still around here and there, but for the most part, it's thankless drudgery.
can't wait to get out of this business myself.
wow... that's accurate as well. we do have a few Asperger type men around here, not in my group, but I can definitely see that driving women away.
I'm going to look up that book!
interesting, thanks.
"feelings of isolation (respondents reported often being the only women on a project team), a lack of female mentors, a macho and hostile work environment, and long hours that conflict with family responsibilities"
think we can brainwash these guys, instead, into committing suicide to stave off the embarrassment they might feel if they were to continue living?
that would solve a lot of problems.
Much of the initial coverage about Fort Hood turned out to be wrong. Is there anything wrong with that?
The accountability imposed by another country for the CIA's kidnapping and torture reveals much about our own.
Fox News' morning show plays to type, talking about whether Muslims in the Army should face "special debriefings"
219 Democrats and one Republican join in favor of the legislation, which passed by a narrow margin
The survivor and author is upset about comparisons some on the right are making to genocide
Salon headlines in your mailbox
