I just spoke w/ a woman I work w/... evidentally she's been married for 34 years to a fella w/ extreme anxiety and depression. so it's been a terrible roller coaster for all these years. She's stuck w/ him, but she deals w/ verbal abuse all the time at home. she just told me all this 15 minutes ago.

I married someone who I think in retrospect was schitzophrenic. Narcissistic, bi-polar... I dunno. But I got rid of him as soon as the Scooby Do mask came off.

When I went through my divorce I had more women come to me to tell me 'bout all the dysfunction at home, and that I was smart for getting out early. They've been in extremely trying relationships for years. I couldn't believe how many women "came out" to me when I was going through my divorce.

Like I said earlier on this board, there's a lot of broken people out there. No one is perfect, but there's different kinds of faults.

So I'm saying: don't let the pressure get to you. Just take it easy until someone that's truly kind and compatible with you shows up.

You know it's right when it's really easy to be nice to each other.

I found a great fella last fall (while doin' stuff w/ meetup dot com). He's not perfect, but the faults I can handle, and he seems to be able to handle my faults.

But the bottom line is we both have good intentions towards each other, we care 'bout the other's well being, and behave as such. And I am extremely grateful, 'cuz in retrospect I came across a lot of troubled souls out there looking for love.

Be well, and don't accept any pressure to couple up.

I've done the dating scene inside and out. I've met a lot of fellas that seemed to have their poop in a group, but then it wasn't long before they showed some sort of narcissism, or addiction, or some other facet of arrested development.

Women have their own issues too, but I don't date women, so can't speak to that.

Partly, it's our culture. There's a lot of entitled couch potatoes out there, having existential crisis', having all their needs met, while the only thing they're able to keep clean is their DVRs.

But then, men treat women a whole lot worse in other cultures, so what are you going to do?

Just trust that, no, it's not you.

Don't be too sure that those couples that are giving you the "why are you alone" line all the time aren't living their own brand of dysfunction behind closed doors... these people are often limited in their ability to understand that there are lives to be lived without towing the traditional line. And they might feel unsafe alone. They value couplehood over healthy relationships. Some people get it right, but what's that percentage? 5%? Who knows.

Society giving single people a lot of crap along with the Cinderella story are like ying and yang - essentially acting as marketing for the procreation lobby.

If it's a kid you want, look into the Single Mother's By Choice. google up the website. it's a community of great women.

If it's companionship you want, just get out there and make new friends. google up meetup dot com... go have fun.

But, first and foremost, don't take the crap. Ignore the pressure. It really isn't your fault. There's a lot of dysfunction out there. And you don't want a dysfunctional relationship. Life's too short.

let's take this opportunity to look at sexism in our culture.

'cuz I'm telling ya, it's there... how 'bout we figure out how to get rid of it

caucuses, throwing in the towel, polls, electability, politics, convention, the party, he said, she said, yada yada yada... this is all noise which won't be settled until it's settled. Time will tell and the election will be over.

And, there we will still be, in a society that casts a blind eye on misogyny.

Even in the article and on this board... people are throwing smoke and mirrors around, missing the point.

Do the study.

I mean, der.

>"I can't help envisioning a time when Archuleta breaks out of the workshop and goes on a rampage through the surrounding countryside, hot-wiring cars and breaking kneecaps, with Miley Cyrus in tow. To quote the title of his favorite song: "Imagine." "

hilarious.

exactly what I was thinking, but not so colorfully.

give that poor kid 5 years, he'll tell his dad to go pound sand, and we'll get to see what he's really about.

and I really hope people talk about it seriously.

we'll see.

the discussion, as I see it, is about looking at misogyny in our culture and using this opportunity to point it out. 'cuz it's pretty clear that this, primitive as it is, is out there.

I don't think anyone in these articles is saying HRC is loosing 'cuz she's a woman.

I believe that misogyny is less likely to survive if somehow the response to it could be changed to marginalizing it, and perhaps even laughing at it. This subtle and not so subtle undercutting of women in power gains credence every time it's taken seriously. It's difficult not to become angry when you experience it, I understand that. But it's that response that gives the misogynist power.

it's like learning how to deal with bullies in grammar school:

you try telling the teachers on them, that just makes the bullying worse.

you try fighting them back, 'cept they fight dirty and you're not willing to do that.

you finally just laugh at them, and, holy toledo, it works!

think we can brainwash these guys, instead, into committing suicide to stave off the embarrassment they might feel if they were to continue living?

that would solve a lot of problems.