Funny, not funny... is this the point? Is the Correspondents Dinner only hosted by comedians? No, I think they invite guests with something to say. I happen to believe he was hilarious at times. But Colbert is a Fool in the true sense. Only the court jester can speak the truth to the king, with the protection of "jest." Why do some find this unfunny? Because it is painfully, soberingly truthful. "Absurd" might be a better term. Thank God for Colbert. Thanks to whoever had the balls to book him!

Yes, that's a rhetorical question.

If your children are old enough to play (apparently) unsupervised in the yard, they are old enough to learn how to clean up cat shit or avoid stepping in it.

Sheesh... maybe cat and dogshit in the 70's (when I grew up) was sterile, but occasionally stepping in it didn't kill any of us!

God forbid your children decide to ice you when you're in your 80s and crapping your pants!

Or something like it...

"They were cutting commercials for Kerry. They were using their grief to make a political point while preventing anyone from responding. "

Hmmm... anyone remember the, "Mr. President, this little girl lost her mother on 9/11" ad, featuring Chimpy hugging the adorable blond orphan?

How awful to use grief to make a political point!

F'ing incredible.

OK, I'm officially feeling inspired. I will be writing those who advertise on my local right-wing loon programs (Rush, Hannity, Savage, & Ingraham here in Jacksonville). I'd never heard of that Sussman creep and cannot imagine that he was not even REPRIMANDED after that spew.

Thanks, Joe Conason and Spocko. To quote my good friend Sean Hannity, "You're a great American!"

How 'bout:

"IS BUSH AN ASSHOLE?"

Two words: Crazy eyes.

When you first meet her, you wonder why she's still single - she's pretty, successful, has a killer bod.You invite her to your next dinner party and invite your hot co-worker (the one you'd bang in a heartbeat if you weren't married yourself). She arrives after you've stalled the salad course long enough, and can't plaster your other guests with yet another apertif. Her mascara's smudged, and her spare hair doesn't quite blend in with her own thin, brittle cobwebby mane. Two glasses of white zinfandel (her own "hostess gift" contribution) later, she's laughing like a banshee at your husband's kitchen anecdotes. He's not a funny guy, really. Why does she have to lean over like that every time, practically laying her big silicone jugs in his plate? Sheesh... this is getting embarassing. Hot Co-Worker politely compliments her on her TV success and apologizes but he's got that thing early in the morning so thanks and it was great meeting you, Sandra!

Two more glasses of zin later. You hear a crash from the dining room as you're rinsing plates, wondering how to get this crazy bitch out and who the hell can drive her home? Oh, god. You thought it couldn't get worse. She's fallen off your husband's lap, or maybe he pushed her. He's trying like hell not to stare at the fake boob that's popped out of her jack o' lantern themed sweater. Please, please, don't let her cry... oh, fuck! Too late. Don't worry, you say, we all have a wee bit too much sometimes. Go splash your face, I'll get you some coffee. Ten minutes. Fifteen. Hesitantly, you knock on the bathroom door, getting pissed instead of feeling sympathetic when you hear the retching and sobbing over the running water. Just a minute! she says.

Finally she emerges, sans spare hair. It's been lovely, you say, sorry you have to get going.

You call her a taxi. The next time you run into her, she pretends she's never met you.

Yes, she is. I found that out during the Terry Schiavo fiasco. She went on Entertainment Tonight and accused Michael Schiavo of abuse and cover-up. She's a pod person.

... is just a douchebag. He's not funny, he's not witty, he's not even charming.

And to James Spader, and to Keith Olberman. Other picks include John Cusack and Andre Braugher (fell in LOVE with him on Homicide: Life on the Street).

I read "The Fix." If it wasn't for Perez Hilton and TMZ, you'd have no column. I'm no fan of PH, but please... you're in the gutter with him, so can it.

I am liberal.

I do not fear facts, ideas, or dissent.

I value and embrace diversity.

I value and strive for a more tolerant society.

I do not need to drown out the voices of others to make me more secure in my righteousness.

I do not take "my righteousness" as an absolute.

Damn right, I'm a liberal.

but not quite. Go fuck yourself, Mr. Bush. Go fuck yourself, Mr. Cheney.