Letters to the Editor
nebraskagrrl
Published Letters: 6 Editor's Choice: 1
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No, you don't have to be a mommy
[Read the article: Do I have to be a mommy to "opt out"?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Speaking as a mom who doesn't have family support at all but would love to have that, and whose child would love to have that, I would totally encourage the letter writer to do what she wants. It's important for people to remember that it's their life. What society expects from them really doesn't matter a whole lot. You cannot spend your life living up to the expectations of others, otherwise you never really get to enjoy it. If living near your sisters and their children makes you happy, then go do that. If travelling makes you happy, then go do that. And remember, you might go live with them, get your fill, and then you might decide to move again. Nothing wrong with that either. But as a parent, I think it's great.
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I don't think he should tell her, but I don't think he's an evil narcissist
[Read the article: Should I tell my daughter about her mother's two abortions?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I'm not sure what this guy's rationale for potentially telling his daughter about the two abortions is, and I don't really see the reason to do so, but I don't think he's evil. I think it's telling that everyone He sounds to me like someone who's not used to parenting, he's been a 'single guy' for a long time and hasn't really been a day-to-day dad, and is just getting used to this. Seems to me like he's just trying to find his way, and maybe he doesn't have a very good skillset for it yet. I don't think it's right to label someone a narcissist, a horrid person, yada yada yada just because he's asking this question.
As to what the big deal is with telling your child about the abortion of her two potential siblings...I don't think it's because of shame or regret. I think it's because the child will potentially look at it a little differently than those who made the decisions do. And you don't know how she will look at it - will she just consider it a birth control decision? Or will she look at her parents as two people now capable of doing something she didn't think they were capable of before? It's an unknown.
Why is abortion a big deal? Well, probably because it *is* a life changing decision. You go one way, you become a parent, you go the other way, you don't. That's a big deal. I hear a lot about women making this choice after agonizing over it, yet people in this forum seem to want to characterize it as equal to having a tooth pulled. It's not. That's why it should be left up to a woman to tell or not tell. That's why the state doesn't want to get involved (or shouldn't, that is). There IS a loss, of one possible future, of something tangible. Maybe not all woman experience that, but we should let them be free to; we shouldn't be trying to tell them what their experience SHOULD be or what they SHOULD feel. We shouldn't dismiss that and try to make abortion just another mundane choice.
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Do nothing; but neglect is worse than out and out abuse
[Read the article: My sister is in perpetual crisis -- should I give her $5,000?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Hi - Don't give your sister money; that's what we call enabling.
But if those kids are living in a chaotic environment with an active alcoholic and his codependent partner; that's what we call neglect.
As a foster parent, I know that the long-term effects of neglect are worse than out and out physical abuse, because it's more subtle and harder for the children to process. It leads to attachment disorders and alllll kinds of other disastrous effects.
No parents who are active in their addictions can effectively parent. Your sister's kids are even worse off because of the poverty; that makes it a lot worse.
Get some help for those kids. We know that people don't change until the pain of change is less than the pain of staying the same. In getting help for those children, the pain of staying the same might become worse for your sister than the pain of changing.
Or it might not. At least you did what you could for the people in this situation who are unable to help themselves. Those are the only people whom you have any obligation to.
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this debate made me question the intellectual level of the american public
[Read the article: The godawful GOP debate ]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]some of the questions were just downright stupid. I do not give a rat's ass if a politician owns guns. And quite frankly, I don't care about illegal immigration either. I definitely don't care about what they think about God or the Bible. I'm not really that interested in abortion any more either.
Why don't they talk about REAL issues, not hot-button-ratings-boosters? Like what they are going to do about the ENERGY crisis! Or what they are going to do about the falling value of the dollar?! When the dollar is worthless overseas and prices are rising in America, maybe illegals will be an asset! This country isn't even in the top ten as a best place to live anymore around the world. What are they going to do about healthcare? Sometimes I think the American public is comprised of 80% sheeples.
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Are you kidding?
[Read the article: Somebody sent child protective services to my house!]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]The complaint is over and this parent needs to get over it.
There is nothing wrong with how CPS proceeded here. They have a duty to investigate and they carried out their duty. And we should feel damn lucky they did! At least we know they're doing their jobs!
This parent is not above the law and this advice is very, very poor. I could see all the overreaction if the caseworker had gotten information supporting the parent and then took the kid away with no evidence, but you think she should march down to CPS and interrogate the agency for doing their job?
Do you have any idea how many children NEED CPS to come out and take a look at how they're being treated by their parents? Any idea how many kids aren't in bad enough shape to be helped by CPS because CPS is so often understaffed and overburdened?