Why mention their Evanglical Chritianity at all? You say that given their EC, the lie they are living doesn't make sense. This implies you think it WOULD make sense, this 'lie' if they were some other, or no religion. But this not a very rational stance. You see that, don't you?

And about this 'lie'. Your stepson is not living a lie about his Chinese ancestry. He simply doesn't want to share that particular piece of information with his daughter. That is not 'living a lie'. Not wanting to trumpet a very newly discovered and extremely obscure 'fact' that has no relevance at all except to destroy Deloros' sense of family - that's hardly accurately or even best characterized as 'living a lie'.

Maybe you'd prefer, if you were Deloroes, to know that your biological father was 'happy', as you put it, to give her up. Maybe she'd even prefer to know that. But it's not your place to tell her, not directly, and not indirectly, as you are proposing with all of this wolf-in-sheeps-clothing faux innocence about 'gee, why should Chinese ancestry even matter?" I seriously doubt there's any latent Chinese racism going on here. They simply don't want their secret revealed in this circuitous but effective manner.

Why all the dstinction between an adopted daughter and a biological daughter? Your tone implies you think that Shep's 'natural' mother is more or less justified in treatting Deloros differently, as you so passionately wish to do, for your own nefarious ends. You should both be ashamed.

I agree that Deloroes might benefit from knowing her father's biological origins. But it's a big 'might'. I have 2 friends that are adopted. Neither ever met their parents or knew squat about their biological origins until they were past 40. They both have their own families, and their children have not fallen mysteriously victim to rare diseases encoded deep in their DNA. Genetically inhereited illnesses are pretty rare, after all. I'm sure if Deloros had need of the information, her parents would have made the right decisoin in this regard. From their reactions in your (slyly uncharitable) story, it is clear they are lovingly protective of her.

I agree with Cary. Butt out. It's not your place to prove you're right - not here. Is your life and your husband's so devoid of interesting things to say/do that being distantly 'Chinese' is the only thing in the world you can talk about ? Drop it. And examine why, if it's wrong for Evangelical Christians to live this lie, why is it right for yout to force this irrelevant 'truth' into other people's lives, regardless of whom it might hurt?

Because a man's sexual activity is not seen as tied to his inherent value. His purity/chastity or lack thereof is considered his own business.

If the captain of the football team has 20 different lovers over the course of the semester, what happens? Well, no one counts, for one. And if anyone IS counting, no one thinks there is anything weird about a physically robust young man sowing his oats. People think it's quite natural that a handsome, popular, accomplished guy would have lovers. The number and quality of his lovers, in fact, is seen as a positive reflection on him, for the most part. If he takes his shirt off to reveal his fab abs and to-die-for pecs, well, it's nothing more than him taking pleasure in his fitness and sensual beaut.

And then we have the girls. God forbid a girl take pleasure in her own beauty and sex appeal, much less revel in it, by wearing short skirts and high heels. And merciful heavens, let's hope she keeps her number of partners to a reasonable number (reasonable being less than any male she may someday date or marry). And we certainly wouldn't want her enjoying sex openly and unashamedly like a *man* - girls aren't supposed to like it! Only the bad ones like it, the ones that no one wants to marry. The good ones aren't supposed to like it, or at least not like it until they are with a guy who cares about her and really wants to marry her. If she gives it up to anyone else, and/or likes it, she's a ho and not deserving a guy to be serious about her or want to marry her.

There is nothing dirty or nasty or slutty about enjoying sex for the sake of sex. Sex is an enjoyable activity. As long as everyone involved is consenting, forthright about STDs and protection, and not playing some sort of head game emotionally/psychologically to get what otherwise might not be freely given, then all is well.

And there is nothing wrong at all about girls taking pleasure in their sex appeal and flaunting it in the closed confines of a themed/costumed party. Most of us wouldn't have the nerve, nor even want to, walk down the street in a tiny skirt and sky high heels. But where is more safe than in a group of like-minded kids in the same values bracket as you - what is the harm of showing off a little in an environment that rewards your daring, rather than censoriously punishes it? As long as the girls in question take full responsibility for their own behavior, they should dress however they damn well want.