Letters to the Editor
Sandra M
Published Letters: 577 Editor's Choice: 139
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The train wreck, er, Patty Smith of our generation
[Read the article: The people vs. Courtney Love]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Since when does 'feminist' mean "woman who has the same ethics, morals and behavior that I approve of, I being me with no liquor, drug or other issues (sucking up to famous people, being in love, being married, having children, etc.), influencing my decisions"
You can be a feminist and a whore. You can be a feminist and a fame-fucker. You can be a feminist and an idiot, a femist and a man, a feminst and a gay man, a feminist and a Christian. The list goes on. Feminism is not predicated on subscribing to specific coordinates on the moral compass, folks. Nor does it require any sort of talent or modesty. Might be nice, I admit- being a feminist, I like to think I"m keeping good company. But take that reasoning too far and you've got fascism.
Hole was a good band. Live Through This rocked. Who gives a fuck who wrote the songs? Lots of artists don't write their own songs. Bruce Springsteen wrote Patty Smith's "Because The Night", Prince wrote Sinead's "Nothing Compares 2 U"
Courtney love gave good grunge rock star, and her relationship with Cobain did not defeine that but rather enhanced that.
Since Cobain's death she's been a public train wreck, sort of like Pete Doherty - but hey, it's fun to watch. I wouldn't trade place with her but nor do I fully understand what it's like to be her. That's fine. She'd be flummoxed by my SAS programming, I'd be flummoxed by balancing the red carpet with heroin addiction and what the fuck I'm going to do on my next album.
She's a decent actress. She's straightforward, even if she's not always real *bright* in what, and the way, she reveals herself. she's enamored of fame -like every other asshat living in LA or in the music/modeling/acting industry. So what. It doesn't hurt anyone. Narcissistic self-regard produces a lot of decent music, art, writing. Sometimes it self-destructs before reaching it's apex. Sometimes it burns out, sometimes it fades away (what Cobain, the great 'artist', tritely ended his life on).
Let's stop maligning women for the same shit men do. I've never seen this sort of revulsion for Doherty, Hank Williams Sr,, Sid Vicious, Lou Reed. Courtney Love paid some dues. Now she's more tosser than talent, but maybe she'll come back and give us a good movie role or diddy. And if not - well, hope she does well out there.
I for one appreciate a woman who is willing to call herself a feminist without an a priori or posteriori disavowal. They aren't all that common. But in the end - so fucking what, whatever she calls herself. She's a musician/artist. She'll, eventually, live and die by that. She knows it - she embraces the risk. It's more than most women in the white hot eye of fame do now days.
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They're having more oral sex because it's no longer 'bad' for a girl to do it
[Read the article: A case for parental notification]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Bill Clinton, hummers, Girls Gone Wild - all have denastified the blow job, so that a 'good' girl can now give one, and get her whiny high-pressure no-responsibility boyfriend off her back about intercourse. It has nothing to do with parental notification laws. For Christ's sweet sake, how can anyone draw that conclusion having been a teenager themselves? Thoughts of long-term consequences do not rule in those moments - the only consequences a girl thinks about are: her reputation, her reputation, her reputation, getting caught, getting caught, getting caught...and then, distantly, pregnancy and STDs.
Abortion is not like any other surgery. It's voluntary and personal. As much as a parent feels he/she has a right to know everything that goes on with their kids, and as much as they'd like to control and be part of every experience, they can't and should not. if a daughter does not want to involve her parents in the decision to get an abortion, that is as much her right as not getting them involved in the decision to engage in sex.
Children are not the chattel of their parents. They may make stupid decisions with regard to sex - lack of experience, immaturity, and hormones almost guarantee this, which is why it is incumbent on parents to provide detailed, judgement free sex education.
I'm sure Ms. So would hate it that her daughter had sex and then got pregnant and then an abortion without involving her. Ms. So needs to realize - the daughter's experiences are not about her. All she can do is reiterate - and *demonstrate* - that she would be suppotive and not condeming of any of her daughters decisions.
I vividly remember being a teenager terrified of getting pregnant. It didn't stop me from having unprotected sex, though. And I would have never involved my parents had i had an abortion - they would have supported me, sure. I'm their daughter. But htey would have also condemned what I did, sat in judgement on me, and had their own emotional meltdown about it all. I would have excluded them just to prevent having to face their disappointment in me. But of course I'd be disappointed! parents think. Well, girls know this. They don't want to deal with YOUR feelings on the subject - the situation is already difficult enough.