we can just ignore kitty. we can roll our eyes at kitty. we can pity kitty - for her situation, or for her need to broadcast it. we can show compassion to kitty. or we can treat kitty with brisk business-like efficiency no matter what her breasts are emblazoned with.

LW - she wants an audience. it's up to the audience whether it wants to be approving or disapproving. you already expressed your disappproval.

now ignore the kitty unless you are forced to interact with her, and when that happens, ignore her clothing and deal with whatever issue is at hand.

no, you're not an old fogey for pointing all this out. It is weird and inappropriate behavior for an office, but ultimately really uninmportant - you're only an old fogey if you pursue it as if it *is* important.

You need to answer this question for yourself before you can find satisfaction in any answer he gives you.

Do you want to get married? Do you want to live together forever? Do you envision a monogamous committed relationship? Answer these questions for yourself, before you talk any more about moving in together.

Then ask him. "Where do you want this relationship to go?" Wait for his answer. Tell him you don't mean to pressure by asking. Don't share your own answer just yet - don't let him try to get the lay of your land before answering. Just ask him, pleasantly, "Where do you want this relationship to go?" Do not ask, where do you SEE it going. Ask where he WANTS it to go. If he can't answer right away, say you understand and would like him to think about it and get back to you in a week. A week is long enough to work out the answer to this question, and then some.

And if his answers don't quite match up to yours - if, say, you hope for marriage but he doesn't want to promise anything 'final' just yet...or maybe you want to live together indefinitely but he wouldn't do so unless you got married...well, ANY disconnect gives you the information you need to decide whehter to stay in, or leave, the relationship.

Don't make staying contingent upon meeting the daughters. Make staying contingent upon having shared goals for the relationship. Everything else will follow. If you both want to live together and marry within a year or so, well, maybe he still has reasons not to introduce you to his daughters (maybe they were Class A bitches to his fiancee)..but at least it won't make you insecure and unsure in the relationship. Then it's just about the relationship and experiences he has had with his daughters, and the decisions that make the most sense in light of same.

Many writers are jumping to wild conclusions - that he's not into you, that he's married, etc. etc. Those are assumptions. We, as readers, have to make them - we don't have access to all the facts + folks in this situation. You, however, do. So don't make wild assumptions. Just ask him a straightforward question: Where do you want this relationship to go? Feel free to give him some prompts: Do you want to live together indefinitely? Do you want to marry me at some point? Do you want to keep it open for the time being?

Be sure that, before you ask him, you have your own answers firmly in mind. That way insecurities won't get in the way of what you really want and need. If you don't realize, for example, that you don't really love him, like, a whole lot, but might be willing to marry him if he loved YOU a real like, well, then you probably will get sidetracked by feelings of rejection if he says "I just don't see myself getting married again for a long time," instead of being able to respond to this with the more emotionally honest "Well, I don't either, so it's good to know we're on the same page and keep this in mind if we move in together."

If he (or you) doesn't see marriage in the cards then you need to establish what 'living together' means - monogamy? Splitting all expenses and hh maintenance stuff evenly?

Pay attention to his answers. Then decide what the best thing to do is, given your own.