Not bald fat guys that use the word fuck like punctuation because the word fuck is exactly one fifth of their vocabulary of one syllable words.

Fuck can be funny. It can be really fucking funny. It can be so fucking funny I fucking fall down on the floor fucking laughing my fucking head off.

Or it can add a needlessly aggressive note to otherwise flat dialogue in a misguided attempt to 'spice things up'.

It would be a lot more fucking funny to hear them say fuck all the time if I actually fucking knew anyone who fucking talked like that. But I don't. And I'm from the midwest and our kitchen looked a lot like theirs. We sat in there to have our fuck-less talks because although we did have a living room, the furniture was too uncomfortable to sit in.

Reading a children's book even once is boring, much less the 75 times they want you to read it. And most kid games are simplistic, repetitive and dull. Even being 'creative' - painting or making up stories - can get pretty mind-numbing. Kids are not mini-adults. It takes nothing away from them to point out that their intellects and reference points are narrow. They are irrational, selfish and whiny. This does not make for continually interesting adult companionship, no matter how sweet their temperaments, no matter how fascinating their developmental progress.

Yes, parenthood is tedious. Lots of things are tedious. Delivering the mail is tedious. But if a mailman admits as much we don't try to run him on a rail out of the country for being unpatriotic, a flag-burning incipient terrorist threat. It should be the same with parenthood.

And of course fathers find children boring. Tedious work that offers no monetary reward or social status is something they stay away from in droves for a *reason*.

I guess parenthood isn't boring if you aren't all that bright or ambitious to begin with - if you don't know what you're missing then you can't really miss it. But please - adults without children don't choose to eschew working for sitting around reading Little Golden Books a thousand times in a row for a good reason - it sucks.

I coudn't disagree more with the woman who said: I figure the kids don't need a mother who is intellectually stimulated as long as they are. What?????? So it's your kid's job to basically justify your existence? That's a pretty heavy burden. Kids are emotionally intelligent despite their lack of sophistication - they are perfectly able to suss out unhappiness, depression, and resentment in their elders. Why would you want to be modeling such a blighted adult life? What earthly good does it do to teach children, by example, that mommey's entire life is focused on her kids and, by extension, will be meaningless without them?

Cary said, verbatim:

Do not assume that your dad is gay.

Do not assume anything.

Just tell him you saw it.

Ask him what it means.

Listen to him.

If the father *is* gay - and that's a big IF that is the absolute basis of Cary's response - then yes, it does concern the son and the rest of the family. The LW should talk to his dad about it first, of course he should. Otherwise he'd be operating on assumptions and in a situation so rife with potential to make wrong ones, that would be bad. So he should talk to his dad, and if he feels that's not helping - if the father becomes very very angry, or is evasive or seems like he is not being honest with his son, or God forbid if wants the son to collude in hiding his sexual orientation - the LW should try to find an objective adult to whom with whom he can discuss the issue and how best to handle it given the potential for family divisiveness.

But that's getting way way way ahead of things. First the LW should talk to his dad, and, as Cary says, tell him what he saw, and ask him what it means, and listen to the answer.

If the father just likes to look at gay porn every once in awhile - which is not unbelievable- then he is within is rights to say this is a private matter between me and my libido, thanks for your concern but you can butt out now - and in the future stay out of my closet (no pun intended).

I'm a hetero woman and I like gay porn (though lesbian porn not so much). The reason is simple - most of the gay porn stars are really beautiful, built and sexy and the action isn't shackled by fear - they go places hetero porn stars do not and it's hot. In other words, I enjoy gay porn for the reason that many men enjoy hetero porn - simple objectification of an attractive member of the opposite sex. The gay porn star's sexual orientation is irrelevant to his ability to be stimulating.

I am not the only one among my friends who feels this way. It's not so unusual.