"This might p'ssibly be more comprehensible if it were a desperate (albeit insane) attempt at at protecting girls from rape." In other words, "Hey, it might be understandable if they were hurting her for her own good". Jesus Christ, committing an act of violence against a woman 'for her own good" is pretty much the rapist credo, isn't it? "She wanted it, I was only obliging her."

Abusing someone to protect against ANYthing is wrong. And quoting 'cultlural taboos' as the reason puts a misguided PC spin on the situation that is unacceptable. Breast pounding/ironing not a 'ritual' that is comprehensible from any angle - it's violence born of ignorance. Period.

Comprehensible is what I retyped, so obviously I know what she wrote.

And I repeat - it's not 'comprehensible' that someone could explain or defend violence (mothers beating and maiming girls' breasts) committed in the name of preventing a different type of violence (men being attracted to said breasts and raping the girls).

The letter sounds a bit like the LW saying "Help! I'm too unique and individual for all the people around me! I reject *them* as friend material for being boring and predictable (as people in boxes are wont to be) but hey, how dare they reject *me*!"

I bet the LW thought Cary would say "Bravo for being a lone voice lifted to the stars, straining against the average and the ordinary, seeking to find and express in you what is divine!" Or something.

The box metaphor is too tortured for me to think the LW really embraces it. Who willingly climbs into a box? Who really sees themselves living out his/her live happily in a box?

The LW strikes me as lonely and feels unappreciated. Doesn't he *do* anything? I mean, like read, or write, or go hear live music, or take an interest in the arts? There are lots of ways to meet people with whom you share things in common. And a stroll around any neighborhood 'box' will show you that there are as many exceptions to the rules you believed that box followed as not. Sure, it's easy to dismiss people based on your stereotype. If I go down to the Marina I expect to see a certain 'type' there, and guess what, I do. But if I focus on seeing people that don't fit the typology, well, suddenly the crowd looks decidedly different.

People tend to sense how you feel about them and act accordingly. If none of the people want you to join their 'boxes' its not because they are lacking, necessarily, but because they sense the LW's condescension in joining them in a box he doesn't find all that interesting.

I agree with Cary - stop thinking about boxes. If you're lonely, fess up that it's your problem, not anyone (much less every one) else's. Only then can you do anything meaningful to address the situation.

...and that is the proportion of female to male teachers. As I recall, several studies and articles pointed out that the teaching field is becoming increasingly female-led. This is a concern - not because of the 'dangers of feminISM or feminINE influence, but rather the lack of balance in male/female influence. The different genders tend to approach teaching differently - and being exposed to both genders from an early age in the arena of authority and learning is surely not a bad thing. Not to mention the teachers themselves - historically, the more a profession is dominated by females the lower it pays. More men in the profession means higher wages and less ghetto-ization of the profession in general, plus a positive impact on the students.

My answer: don't. Change your thinking. An unwanted touch or flash is an assault on decency and privacy. You don't have to SAY anything. Knee 'em in the balls or slap 'em in the face..or just give them a good healthy shove away while shouting "Stop it!". They're sort of expecting it anyway. They're getting off on the target suppressing her rage and feeling helpless as much as they are getting off on copping the feel/exposing the goods.