The LW seems to think she has the the right to complain, gossip and slander without ever taking respsonsibility for addressing her concerns in a mature, adult way -- that is, by taking up the subject in a nonconfrontational way with the teacher in question. I'm not sure to what degree the students a) are being victimized or made to feel uncomfortable by teacher the behavior the LW describes and/or b) losing out on a good sex education - the LW's anecdoes don't really support that either of these things are happening rather, the LW's anecdotes suppport that *she* is uncomfortable, and another colleage apparently agrees with her (though not to the point where he soliciited the LW's ideas on how to address the situation - so perhaps he was just agreeing ot be nice, and sees no imminent danger).

What is it with people who make serious accusations - so often they don't want to face the person they are accusing, but wish instead to hide behind authority figures, committes, a system. For heaven's sake, the LW is basically complaining that this teacher is immature; but the LW's method for dealing with this - talk to all the other teachers, talk to the committee....in effect, *tattle* rather than simply talk to the teacher herself - is just as immature.

It doesn't have to be a confrontation. She can ask to get togethe with all of the teachers to have a monthly rap session appraising what teaching techniques seem to be most effective with the kids. There are many ways to introduce the subject of the appropriate use of personal experience - for example,it would be easy enough to find a text or expert supporting the notion that children have fewer conceptions of appropriate boundaries than do adults, and so therefore adults in mentoring positions should probably avoid discussing their personal life in what might be perceived as a titillating manner...that it would be best to make points using anecdotes featuring similarly aged children from, say, well-known tv shows, movies and books.

What the LW is proposing - going around and getting a quorum to agree w/ her complaint and then censure the teacher - is unnecessarily destructive and is sure to fan the flames of defensiveness and resentment. Surely these more formal measures should be reserved for when discussions, suggestions, admonitions and criticisms have failed.

This is not unlike the LW a few weeks ago who chose to email her cube mate about her phone conversations, then escalated by going to HR and management -- without ever once sitting down and just *talking* about the perceived issue. There is more than a touch of the self-righteous in this approach - as if being offended justifies character assassination over simple discourse.

Drugging someone so that they behave in a way that is more acceptable to your personal goals and wishes is not only unethical but immoral. Isn't this the same defense men use when administering date rape drugs?

You can either learn to deal with the reactions of your child and fellow passengers, or you can avoid flying until the kid can endure the ordeal with a measue of calm. The latter actually requires parents to bear the full burden of being inconvenienced by the consequences of their child's behavior.

Do people really sit around and worry about being 'cool'? Can you rage against 'corporate culture' if you haven't actually held a corporate job? Isn'y any 'pose' meaningless, really, by definition?

I gave up my tv when I was 33. Since then I read a lot, get out a lot, make an effort to listen more than I talk (I'm still working on this), make a point to keep up with friends and family. I try always to speak and behave in a way that feels true. I have never spent a moment wondering if I'm cool, or wondering if someone else is, or hope they were, or hope I am, or hope that they hope I hope they are. Who gives a shit about cool? We're all here, sharing the same space. We all have a story. Everyone *is* an individual and therefore, individual. We're like a billion microbes crowded together under the eye of a microscope - only the really really aberrant stand out, the rest of us have infintessimal uniqueness relative to one another but not in a naked-eye-identifcation kind of way. So what? If we were all born able to play like Mozart then Mozart wouldn't be less beautiful,it would just be less remarkable.

I threw out my TV about 7 years ago and that was all it took to learn that the endless clamoring for attention of reality show contestants and tabloid magazines covers can be just....tuned out. And you don't need chai or yoga or patchouli to find yourself in the quiet void. Learning to direct the run of your own thoughts (which leads, delightfully, to learning to form, back up and express an intelligent opinion) exercising your body to the point of sweat, flossing regularly and being able to articulate your values because only in doing so can you live them...these things don't lead necessarily to happiness, but they make you comfortable with yourself - something that, I suspect, is a necessary and possibly even sufficient condition for coolneess (and not to be confused with being satisfied with yourself - which often only takes money, popularity, and a schedule so busy there is no time to think).

Everything else is jus so much blah blah.