Dame Roddick isn't worried about 'pimp and ho' culture- if she were, she wouldn't be singling out Beyonce and Britney, who are middle class young women flaunting their bodies as well as their singing and dancing talent...she'd be singling out nearly every single rapper on MTV whose videos are chock-a-block with fully dressed men, complete with bling and braggadoccio, surrounded by literally dozens of nearly naked, gyrating young African American women who appear to simply live for the moment one of the aforementioned rapstars beckons her into his bed to be used and discarded. Rap music culture is definitely pimping out African American women and it's pretty sickening to watch...but it has nothing to do with Beyonce and Britney's thongs, which are mild by comparison and are, quite simply, the result of protected, admired young women finding an endless audience for dynamic combination of pop talent+ nubile sexuality.

Caroline Coon's comments are pretty extreme...but I should point out that just this week the Italian courts ruled that raping a virgin should be deemed 'worse' than raping a non-virgin when considering punishment for a convicted rapist. It's a far cry from the what Coon is decrying, but it's an unfortunately true and current example of how a woman's sexuality can and is used against her to disposses her of freedom, safety and dignity.

Want the Beyonces and Britneys to stop wielding such influence with their peek-a-boo thongs? Stop saying "isn't she pretty!" to your little daughters when they get dressed up. Stop dressing them in don't-touch-me lace and torturously curling their hair and telling them they musn't muss it. Stop describing your daughters first and foremost in terms of their looks (I have heard parents say "I have 2 beautiful daughters" countless times, but almost never does anyone say 'handsome' as the first adjective describing their son). Point out messages in popular culture that perpetuate limiting, sexist ideals - the Olympic announcers aren't describing Bode Miller, for example, as saucy, sassy, with a 'Valentine face" and a smile that lights up the room. He rose to - and fell from - acclaim based on his abilities. But skater Sasha Cohen's looks are noticed at least as much as her talent, if not more. And before you say it's a sport thing and not a gender thing - the men's figure skater's handsomeness and bodies, elegance and personalities are not constantly and endlessly remarked upon (with the occasional notable acception, such as David Weir, who is notable for being just that - a huge exception) . And the women contribute to the madness by wearing the makeup and outfits of come-fuck-me Las Vegas showgirls, underplaying their athleticism in favor of their 'presentation'.

Self-esteem comes from the SELF - it is up to parents, not media, to help daughters build a sense of themselves as important, worthwhile people with value that goes far beyond the prettiness of her face and the sexiness of her body - help them acheive this and maybe they won't feel such a compelling need to devalue themselves in a competition to be vacuously sexy as they mature .

But also recognize that becoming aware of the power a pretty face and sexy body confers is a rite of passage for all girls, and something she must, sooner or later, learn to navigate on her own. It's nothing to be afraid of.

Seems to me all of this is really about fear of young girls having sex: Beyonce and Britney are not passively sexy, but actively sexual, something that makes parents acutley uncomfortable. When oh when will we treat girls' sexual exploration with the same shrug and wink we treat boys' sexual exploration? Whose fault is it, really, that we dismiss/label the very same oversexualized behavior from male rap stars as 'boys will be boys', while Britney and Beyonce are 'hos' corrupting young girls everywhere?

The author of this article talks as though women competing is something untoward, something negative that we all nevertheless know occurs. Huh? There isn't anything inherently wrong with competition - not in men, not in women. For the most part it's a healthy urge. Where competition goes wrong for many women is in the inability to admit that it's perfeclty normal to openly compete, to be seen to want/strive for something; instead, many women adopt the attitude that to compete, to wish to excel or best another woman, isn't 'nice' and go undergound, resorting to subterfuge, undermining, and exclusion to drag a rival down in a misguided attempt to elevate herself.

How many women have I met w/ breast implants who say: I did it for my self esteem! (as if larger breasts conferred on one by a surgeon has anything at all to do with the self) when it would be far more honest to say: I did it because I thought if I had bigger breasts I would attract more male attention. But oh no, that would sound, well, competitive.

The newly minted term idolspize is nothing more than envy, and envy is far more corrosive than jealousy, because envy covets what it hates. Envy is the bitter child of suppressed competitive urges.

the LW could try to learn to see leg hair differently.

Only 10 years ago Brasilian waxes were unheard of everywhere but, well, Brasil. Now when you go to a spa they have handouts - handouts! - illustrating 20 or so different pubic grooming options. I got a landing strip and my husband freaked- he thought it looked 'weird'. But he adjusted.

20 years ago a tattoo was a highly unusual statement reserved for 'outsiders' - carnies and the like I wanted to get one - I thought it would be a unique statement. My husband freaked. I didn't get one, but only because when I really decided what I wanted (5 years ago) it had become so ubiquitous that I was more unique without it.

Tastes change with perspective. Maybe the LW needs a new perspective on leg hair more than his wife needs a new razor.

Just a thought.