Why is there so much contempt for mothers these days?

There isn't. There's contempt for navel-gazing writers of any stripe. If they happen to be moms then that's just a coincidence. Why are you trying to create another "us vs them" controversy when there isn't one?

Somebody help me understand a clear definition / distinction between acts of war and acts of terror.

Seems like the distinctions are all superficial and start to break down.

If an act of terrorist is committed against us by a group that is receiving material support from a foreign state, isn't that foreign state effectively committing an act of war against us? Is it simply that the terrorists don't wear uniforms and aren't officially part of the arm of a foreign state that they are not considered "on the battlefield"?

What happens when a multi-national terrorist group has more financial wherewithal and influence than a foreign state?

I'm against the concept of a perpetual war on terror but I'm having a hard time figuring out how to distinguish between "real" war and what terrorists do?

How well-organized, powerful and rich does a group need to be to qualify to wage "real war" against the US vs. non-military terrorism?

SOmeone help me out here....

A kind of pitying, you-lose sentiment was common among dads without daughters. They always delivered some polite variation of, “Dude, that sucks." Or, "What are you gonna do with a girl?” I remember talking to a friend... He then slapped me on the back before continuing, "I'm just glad we didn't have a girl. Good luck with all that!"

This is outlandish and I don't believe it. I think this is fabricated or greatly exaggerated.

While I'm sure people have biases, I just don't think they spew them like this. I think these types of biases are strictly discussed with life-partners and extremely close confidants.

Or maybe I just live in an unusual world of people who actually have a modicum of tact and consideration for other people. But I'm going to go with BS.

If not - you need new friends, Traister. :)

they just don't look natural. tanning creams don't look natural, don't look good. neither does this. Sosa looks pale and sick.

forget the moral/ethical issues for a second and just accept that it LOOKS BAD

Just the nature of the letter - the amazing attention to detail about speed limits, etc., leads me to believe you have a "driving disorder". You talk about driving and speed like people with food disorders talk about food. They obsess over exactly how many calories they ate, how much others are eating etc.

Maybe you need to lighten up, maybe get some counseling, and let go of the need to control.

Also, practically speaking - going exactly the speed limit when traffic is going 10,15,20 MPH faster is really just creating problems for everyone. Nobody is going to give you a medal for that. It's probably creating more stress in your life to do that than just be smart and practical - here's my advice: just don't be the slowest OR fastest driver on the road.

It is tough. Specifically, in this new format it's much harder (for me) to quickly discern the actual letters from the rest of the text on the screen. It may just take getting used to, but I feel like the old format was actually much easier to read.

A decent man, if he was truly unable to perform sexually because of the "horror" having to make love to a formerly beloved partner because she had gained some weight or needed a hairpiece, would at least come up with a believable lie -- "honey, I'm having E.D.!"

I think losing one's libido when a spouse is very sick is very understandable, actually. Although it hasn't happened to me, I can very well imagine that the anxiety of the situation, the repulsivness of disease -- yes, it's true, disease is repulsive -- could put a major damper on the sex drive. Notice, I did NOT say that the disease makes the PERSON repulsive, but by our very nature we are naturally repulsed by disease. Many people can overcome this. Some can't. Does that suck? Yes. Should the partner work to overcome that somehow? Ideally, yes.

But at least the partner can be a little softer and more nuanced and more HONEST by saying "darling, I want to do this but I'm having a hard time coping. I'm so sorry, let me give you a nice long back rub at least for now and I'll try to work on dealing with my own emotions and overcoming this problem".

That said, I feel like LW's expectations are also a bit high.

Wouldn't a man who loves a woman be sexually attracted to her regardless of changes in appearance?

That's quote an idealistic notion. Sure, on some level it's true. But I think it's also not allowing for the fact that we're all flawed and weak at best.

Sounds like these two need to find some happy medium. Partner needs to acknowledge that LW has needs that he's not meeting and LW should acknowledge that the situation is hard and cut partner some slack.

the difference is that adults know how to control their impulses and emotions. toddlers don't. that's why their parents need to help them.

or do you think that we should expect as little from adults as we do from children?