Letters to the Editor
Gwool
Published Letters: 366 Editor's Choice: 40
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It's All About Us
[Read the article: After all I've done for my mother, I'd like to strangle her!]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Baby Boomers will go down in history as one of the most self absorbed bunch of pampered under achievers in the history of american civilization, and I am ashamed to have to admit I am on the tail end of that demographic.
Some late in life individual has gone to seek out a pyschobabblist who has helped the LW find a way to blame their mother for their faults, shortcomings, or general "malaise."
Suck it up for chrissakes.
Your life sucks because of your mommy. Well, no matter how you slice it, your life is a whole hell of a lot better off than your mothers, because your aren't staring into the abyss of your own coffin at the moment. It would be so typical of self absorbed boomers to take the time when the old girl is near the end of the line to unload a lot of YOUR baggage onto her so maybe your life will be a little happier.
I have a boat load of issues in my own family. My mother was certifiably nuts with full blown manic depression, shock treatments, lithium, haldol and who knows what the hell else during her illustrious career. It can be argued she did a number on me.
So what? She did the best she could and operated without malice. For that she gets a hall pass. If I can't let go of what she did 40 years ago to me then the problem is mine and not hers.
For god's sake think about someone other than yourself for a while. Humor the old girl. She asks for an assessment of how well she did as a mother, lie for crying out loud and tell her she has nothing to worry about. Let her live out her final days thinking she was a good parent.
You want to find a way to blame others for your own misery, keep going back to the pyschobabblist for that nonsense. Hell, take this reply with you and blame me as well. It is, after all, what we boomers do.
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Analysis Paralysis
[Read the article: My parents are obsessed with genealogy]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I think Cary and the letter writer are over engineering the answer here. I am a young boomer whose older brother has gone off on a genealogy kick. He recently retired from a high pressure job, is married to someone with far less intellectual inquisitiveness, and he has time on his hands. He loves crossword puzzles and piecing together one's genealogical chart is a lot like trying to figure that stuff out.
In our situation we laugh a bit about our family being a bunch of muckers who worked hardscrabble farm land in southern England. Not the stuff of kings or queens, just some hard working slobs scratching a living from the earth.
I don't think its narcissistic. I don't think it necessarily satisfies some unmet need. I think it satisfies a simple curiosity of where we've come from. I am guessing it also has something to do with entering a stage in life that pretty much lets you know you're on the last leg of the journey. It doesn't mean it's time to worry about cats shoveling kitty litter onto you, but you aren't a spring chicken, either.
My grandfather had this interest, as did one of my uncles. My brother, just turning 60, rationalizes that it is of value to have someone his age getting involved. He has the time, retiring early, and he "still has his fastball" as he says to describe still being mentally alert.
Maybe it's a feeling of being the generational elder, as he is the oldest grandson, etc while our two uncles are heading into the twilight, so to speak. I don't know. All I know is that it is mildly interesting but not something for which I would see the value in exchange for all the hard work he has put into it. But that doesn't matter. He sees the value, and he is having fun with it. That my brother is enjoying his retirement in various ways and that one of them happens to be tracking the genealogical tree is all that matters.
The LW should stop thinking of her parents' retirement in terms of what it means to her. She is upset, it seems at not being the focal point of her parents' attention when she sees them. Well, princess, maybe they think, at your age you can finally stand on your own two feet and they can stop pampering you and worrying about what you need or do and devote their time to things in which they have an interest.
If this is what they want to do, then let them. It hurts no one, save, apparently for you who feels ignored.
Suck it up and be thankful they are happily pursuing dead people. Another couple decades and they can be on your doorstep in depends relying on you for their every need.
I can just imagine the letter that could come forth then.
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What a Cliche ...
[Read the article: Will I lose my one great love because I acted on principle?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Better Living Through T-Shirt Slogans ...
If you love something, set it free.
If it doesn't come back, hunt it down and kill it.
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Once Again Blaming Others
[Read the article: I had no father -- will I always feel I need a man?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]The LW lacks a daddy, and hence the problems. If dad had been around and looked at you cross-eyed after a piano recital, you could use that as an excuse for aberrant behavior.
You're an adult.
Cope.