Letters to the Editor
Gwool
Published Letters: 366 Editor's Choice: 40
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The Ugliness of It All
[Read the article: I suspect my wife's "miscarriage" was not spontaneous]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]*Before the bellyaching starts, I am decidedly pro-choice.*
The letter illustrates the ugliness of the abortion issue that will never, ever be completely eradicated. It takes two to get pregnant, but only one carries the baby. As such the person carrying the baby has control over the decision to carry it to term. If they do, then the man has to pay to support it, yet they have no legal standing in making the call as to whether or not it is carried to term.
It's not equitable, but neither is the way nature divvied up the procreative responsibilities, either. Pointing out the inequity does not make one pro-life or a misogynist, either, but I am well aware some strident folks will see it that way just as Freepers will whine about how the male gets screwed in the situation.
I have no first hand experiences, thankfully, with either an abortion or a miscarriage. I have a number of friends who have had both. Miscarriages generally resulted in a trip to the hospital after the fact. I would think if it was a miscarriage the wife would have wanted her husband with her given what I would assume to be fears that other things were wrong with her body that needed attention.
My bigger concern, frankly, is for the woman. If she was depressed and *did* have an abortion, then how is she going to feel down the road when not depressed? Is she going to have deep regrets? I know my thoughts about the seriousness of abortion changed after my wife had our first kid. I have to think some woman who have had an abortion before having any kids would have some kind of emotional "flashback" once carrying one to term. Given her mental state, I would imagine this woman would be a higher risk for such feelings of remorse and could use some support and counseling. Not wanting to talk about it now, and knowing how the husband feels would seem to only compound what this woman is going to go through. She won't even have the consolation/rationalization of saying her partner encouraged or supported the decision and I wonder just how forgiving the husband is going to be.
Yes, the husband has a right to feel ticked off. He wanted a child and the decision to not have one was made without his consent or agreement. Biology dealt the cards that way.
Biology also gives women a much closer feeling and experience with respect to pregnancy given it *is* their body. I don't profess to know what it is like, but it does not keep me from feeling empathy for the wife in this situation. She was having mental health problems, made a decision not supported by her husband, and is now apparently trying to wrestle with both issues. Something tells me this poor woman's problems are far from over.
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No Name Response
[Read the article: I suspect my wife's "miscarriage" was not spontaneous]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]"It is his child. It is also just as much her child. Whether it is born or not affects the rest of his life. It also just as much affects the rest of her life. He has the right to choose whether or not to conceive a child and take measures in that direction. She also has just as much right to choose whether or not to conceive a child and take measures in that direction."
This situation is beyond that one. Yes, there's birth control. It fails, however. This situation is one of those where it failed. At that point it is a little beyond the father's realm of influence as articulated in the earlier post.
I will cede the point in my earlier post that I did NOT discuss the elements surrounding birth control as that was a moot point in the situation at hand. It would be interesting to know how many abortions are the result of unprotected sex versus failed birth control measures.
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Cruises? Bleh!
[Read the article: The lazy man's guide to Alaska]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I took a cruise while my wife was pregnant with our first kid. It drove the two of us crazy. We were held captive, allowed to get off the boat for half the day before being loaded back on like cattle to wander through to the buffet lines to graze. Each stop had three options. Shopping, a tour of some historical artifacts, or a beach trip.
It is interesting that Mr. Keillor saw fit to take a swipe at Texas while extolling the virtues of cruises. When I think Texas, I think pink cadillacs with bullhorns on the front driven by some blow hard.
When I think cruises, I think of a ship full of said blow hard drivers.