Um..."phony nude painting"?

Does that mean it's not actually a painting, but instead, one of those goddamned liberal photographs? Something interesting above the bar done in tiny hasbro light-brights? A chalk drawing? Maybe it's actually a...mimeograph! See, your phrase "phony nude painting" just makes no sense. None. Nada. Zip. You get bupkiss on that one.

As to the sexism, perhaps what you are referring to is the dialogue which goes on about how she pimps her kids (boy is Levi paying for it now), hates women, works against her own gender and puts out for patriarchy? Her staunch anti-feminism? Yeah, I guess that's what you meant.

Hate the food, not the food-sinner...

She's not really a very charming dinner guest.

After a delightful salad of arugula, capers and gorgonzala loving drizzled with extra-virgin olive oil (I didn't think she or Todd would appreciate the HPV-laden, former-meth-addicted safflower) and a little balsamic vinegar, washed down with a nice chardonnay, then braised baby orangutan iwth uglifruit and fennel (coupled with a spectacular '04 Oregon Pinot) and a dessert of candied wolf-cub paws, you would not believe how miffed I was to find her later in the drawing room eating my kitten. I sure miss Sparky.

It's just good that it was snowing and I wasn't able to take them out to show them my herd of Moose. Mooses? Moosii? Meece? I think it must be Meece. Yes, I'll conjugate it that way.

Um...no. Prisoners are making jokes about dogs and Bristol??? God I want to be on that license-plate assembly line...

children, Elephantman.

The headache is probably due to an impending stroke.

Jimmy, Jack and Track are currently being cornholed...er...indoctrinated...by their respective military superiors.

that first line was supposed to read:

[I think it's a give you shouldn't be allowed around] children, Elephantman.

@MICRO MS

I'll never be able to look at a volkswagen the same way. Is nothing sacred?

If we can't get any more 'makeup' sessions with you, can I at least have a make-out session with you? Please please? Huh?

RE: You gotta love the Salon readership...

Any young man or woman fighting our current wars are either

1) too disenfranchised to see there are alternatives to a job for them other than the military - in which case they're not patriots, they're workers

or

2) so inculcated into the neo-con religion that sometimes a bullet needs to be seen as a sacrament.

I don't know this kid's story - whether there were no viable jobs and he felt his only choice was a job in the armed forces or whether his substandard education at the hands of right-wing schoolboards and jesus-loving wingnuts made him think that anything the freaks in the current administration said was canon - but I can still feel for his human predicament as it is.

This video did NOT stir me to tears. It is merely the satisfying result of the illegal, jingoistic and ethically bankrupt soundbite+war pressed upon the globe by the neoconservatives you sleep with. I seriously doubt your ilk have any real concern for veterans as humans when they make such good examples in right-wing diatribes about why we should just keep killing anyone anywhere we possibly can.

As to Jimmy, Jack and Track's assholes being collectively fucked, it was FIGURATIVE, not LITERAL. (You are invited to go out and buy a dictionary so you understand those words). By now all of them (unless as offspring of elective possibilities they are not unduly protected from the rest of the grunts' misery) should be feeling a mighty pain now that they realize what they've signed up for.

Yes.

RE: COMPASSION FROM ELEPHANTMAN

Remember when Ron and Nancy sensitively thought the homeless were people who were "just between homes"?

...she must havebeen talking about my home state of Oregon, which has been leaning very pro-Uruguay of late.

While I think she pimps the kids and thus, yes, they are being exploited, I am less concerned about the schedule than I am about the noise of the rallies and how that might affect both an infant's auditory development and a special needs child's language development due to significant white noise. Maybe they're using ear plugs.

...and I am really thankful for my Atenolol.