I’ve been thinking about this as Obama’s numbers have risen, and there are a few other things that I think McYuck might try to pull his own numbers out of the toilet:

1. Offer to clean EVERY cat-box in America for the next four years. This would totally assure him of the pussy-lovin’ vote

2. Buy every man, woman and child in America a box of Milk Duds. ‘Cause who doesn’t like Milk Duds? That wouldn’t be like buying votes, it would just be buying Milk Duds. ‘Cause who doesn’t buy Milk Duds? Mmm…Milk Duds.

3. Create a time machine, and allow everyone a shot to go back and change one thing. I would go back in time and sterilize Barbara Bush. Sure, we might split the universe into millions of opposite realities, but in at least one of them, Obama would be prez. Mine would be a bushless universe – trees and ground-cover only, none of those annoying azaleas or birds-nest spruce or prissy golden pfitzers. And mandatory full Brazilian waxes for everyone.

4. Marry Willow Palin to make an honest woman out of that baby-mama. Suddenly the Maury Povitch/Jerry Springer undecided-voter crowd is totally owned.

5. Marry Levi Johnston. This would get him some gay votes, though probably not a lot.

6. As above in 4 and 5, have a sex-change. This could totally swing the transgender vote.

7. Get the Gear Daddies back together. Suddenly Wisconsin, Minnesota and Michigan are totally his.

8. Mud wrestle 1.6 billion Chinese to the death to assure a never-ending supply of Melamine for industrial food-preparation use so we get some too.

9. Challenge BO to a crow-eating contest. McYuck’s plate, by necessity, would have to be so huge that Obama would have to back out in the interest of fair play.

10. Did I mention the Milk Duds idea? Mmm…Milk Duds.

#4: Bristol Palin, not Willow Palin (or Piper, Auger, Trey, Wrench, Boeing, LightSweetCrude or Latch Palin).

I've always gardened. No one mentions preservation...

I pulled up the garden today....I'll till and augment the soil tomorrow.

In the meantime, I've got about 600 dried Early Girls and Beef Eaters socked away for the period between today and June 15th (when I'll have my next fresh tomato - no icky store-stones in winter). Soup! Plus all the frozen tomato and pasta sauce. Ditto on the peppers, onions, etc....

I'm on old farmland too, so lucky.

No strobe-lights for this epilectic! (Unless you want to see my fish-out-of-water impression).

I think all of your ideas might work too.

So many possibilities

And you know what? You CANNOT make a viable Milk Duds Martini. Once you start shaking, it just becomes nasty. And I really hesitate adding butterscotch schnapps to the Stoli...

A Stephen Hawking/Sam Harris ticket!

the following lyrics were not in there:

"Obama took my woman,

then he took my truck.

My dog is also missing,

That's why Umurica feels fucked."

This ol’ country

Sure could use some help.

Thank goodness for Bristol Palin

And Levi, that young whelp.

While John and Todd – er, Sarah –

Are governin’ and such

They’ll be workin’ diligently

To construct a hutch.

‘Cause Jesus was a carpenter

-- didn’t work at no wall street bank –

He’s crying up in heave ‘cause Obama

Just called our VP choice a skank.

Good ‘ol cuntry folk like us

Will cut off all their heads

To keep Morgan Stanley profitable

And Obama’s homo-dyke supporters from our beds.

waiting for the Grand Old Opry to call...

Your B-A-B-Y D-A-D-D-Y

Will marry you today.

Cause your D-A-D-D-Y

Won’t put the S-H-O-T-G-U-N away.

Obama went down to Georgia, he was looking for a soul to steal.

He was in a bind 'cos he was way behind: he was willin' to make a deal.

When he came across this old man sawin' on a fiddle and playin' it hot.

And Obama jumped upon a hickory stump and said: "Whitey let me tell you what:

"I bet you didn't know it, but I'm a fiddle player too.

"And if you'd care to take a dare, I'll make a bet with you.

"Now you play a pretty good fiddle, Whitey, but give the devil his due:

"I bet a fiddle of gold against your soul, 'cos I think I'm better than you."

The boy said: "My name's Johnny and it might be a sin,

"But I'll take your bet, your gonna regret, 'cos I'm the best that's ever been."

and you, sir or madam, are no island.

because the Rigellian hordes are flush with cash. Just sayin'...

Man, I really thought this was the year I'd win.

Jars of quarters buried in the yard...Big Ones! Some had...well, more than 99 quarters in them...I know the numbers go higher...hunnert! that's it! Some had hunnerts!

Kelsey Grammer has his own state???

It was just really mean of her to do that.

Only erroneously. E.g., "Mission Accomplished."

are the next is going to be the next mayssive bubble to burst, and that goes directly back to the consumers. Glad I have 0 balances and the house is paid for.

One thing I don't understand, though, is all the talk about credit card limits going down and interest rates going up. Mine are doing the opposite. It makes no sense with the press I'm reading. Has anyone else been experiencing that? Just seems wierd.

She just got confused about her itinerary -- which has been pretty dizzying -- and thought she in either the state of New Oregon, New Washington or New Idaho?