Obama has the support of Peruvian faith-healers

By ANDREW WHALEN Associated Press Writer

Print Oct 29th, 2008 | LIMA, Peru -- Barack Obama apparently can count on the support of a majority of Peruvian faith healers. Each of the 11 shamans in a Peruvian faith-healing organization said Wednesday that they have foreseen victory in the U.S. presidential race: nine for Democrat Obama and two for his Republican rival John McCain.

Blowing incense over a sacred llama fetus perched on a bed of coca leaves next to posters of the leading candidates, the shamans shook rattles, chanted "up, Obama, up!" and threw flowers at their images."

Not only must Obama have a plan to subsidize abortions for llamas, he's in cahoots with coke-dealing cultist foreigners to boot. You betcha!

...he made me fuckup my html tags back there. So slick, so fast...like a greased cat hopped all on speedballs and marijuanna cigarettes, I'm tellin' ya.

Of course, I don't want to believe any of this. But really, when faced with irrefutable 'stuff', like that fact that there are 6, 7 and 5 letters in each of Obama's three names, followed by II - that so obviously corresponds to 6752 Ashley - an asteroid in the main belt suspected of having a Vorlonian transmission device where he's probably getting his instructions from, what can we do? I mean - have YOU every seen him in a foil hat? I haven't, and that would certain stop the transmissions; if he WANTED them to stop!

Michelle's three names (including maiden as last) have 8, 8 and 8 letters? 888! The number of the Uber-Beast, as clearly outlined in "Revelations III: This Time It's Personal" by Ned of Smyrna in 308. "...and she will buy off the rack, and the heavens will bleed from a thousand compound-fractured angel's wings."

It's not like anyone can just make this shit up!

I totally did not think about Planet Mongo. So is he aligned with the Northern Land Mass there or the Southern Land Mass? It'll make a big difference when it comes to redistributive policy...

...lobby for a Hawaiian law allowing for sub-automatic training in K-12? I'm sure you're right, and I've read that somewhere.

"Since you stole

my toilet and the dog,

I have to pee on the ground

like the hog.

AMERICA! AMERICA! AMERICA!

I sure miss your

spicy gravy fries

and that come hither look

in your eyes.

AMERICA! AMERICA! AMERICA!

Now I'm stuck with

just morning wood.

McCain and Palin

sure are good.

AMERICA! AMERICA! AMERICA!

Is actually an acronym in republican circles meaning

"recidivist elitist dabbling in satanism through rectal infiltration before unfit teachers instigatify onanistically, nihilistical [and] insubordinative socialistical tendencies."

They've been using it since Ja'net Du Bois won her first emmy...

"Our C-A-N-D-I-D-A-T-E-S

lost the election to-DAY.

And that's a S-H-A-M-E,

'cause Barack's a Commie...and GAY.

Now we'll have to buy some S-H-E-E-T-S,

'cause we're 'mericuns.

We'll wear them while we M-A-R-C-H-I-F-Y,

'cause we're 'mericuns.

Sarah Palin shot me M-O-O-S-E.

Guess I'll eat it this week.

George B-U-S-H

Was just made a sheik.

...there are those rumours on the internets about Obama using his time-machine to help them stock up on winter wheat...

Puddin' on th' Ridz!!!!

...was that Hoffa's foot in Barack's pocket tonight?!?

Loved the vid! She has a good set of pipes!

(Although to be honest, the lamp on the right side of the piano didn't work for me -- I'd like to have seen something lower, with a bit of shade.)

...and never wonder what she's wearing. I read Joan Didion, and she might wear a gunny sack while she types for all I care. I read Maxine Kumin, and she wears good old denim.

(Though to qualify it, Wolf Blitzer really DOES have some awful ties...I'll try to remember to send him some of my good better ones).

I get permanently 86'd from Hell already (it was all a bit murky from the absynthe Ba'al and I were drinking with the Gunderson twins, but I certainly don't recall setting off those sprinklers), this after Satan crocheted those nice curtains for my condo, and then I cast for BO in vote-by-mail...so now where do I get to go?

...love voting by mail. Saves gas. Saves time. And we do it early enough that if we FU our ballot, we can go get another. Pretty darned convenient. And even though the cost of gas is down a abit, the $.43 to send it in is still cheaper.

That's right. Let's bring it on!

(Of course, here, I will largely be limited to knocking over a walnut tree, terrorizing some squirrels and setting fire to ...um...well, the burning barrel, I suppose...

...the scarecrowette has not specifically said who she is supporting in the election, but she had this sort of smirky hockey-scaremommy look lately. Might need to take a little walk to the garden Wednesday morning. No wait, that's probably just because of the Jason mask for halloween. Never mind. But that walnut tree is so fucked.

I suggest 100 mg of Thorazine every 6 hours until we can develop a medication which makes stupidity painful.

...some difficulties with these goat entrails.

...he's using mass hypnosis. His REAL mother was Tokyo Rose, the secret love child of Mata Hari and Friedrich Engels.

...with the phrase "Middle East". Where are the "Outer" and "Inner" Easts? Or are they "Left East" or the "Right East? Perhaps the "Upper East" and "Lower East"? No, it must be the "Beginning East" and the "End East"...