One of my favorite shirts to wear to work on a Friday or a Monday says,"I(heart)kicking ass." I dare this guy to slap me. He'd get clocked so hard... I also have Sex Fist shirt which is fun to wear under my sweater. I get a mischievous I'm-wearing-an-inappropriate-shirt kind of happy feeling when I wear it to work.

Thank you for that wonderful piece of baseball history. I lived within walking distance of Wrigley Field for a few years and became a baseball fan by first becoming Cubs game fan. Wrigley Field is the world's greatest beer garden. And we Cubs fans cherish the song. Are we the only ones to make such a production of it anymore?

In relationships with a big age difference, it is the responsibility of the older person to make sure that the younger person leaves the relationship in better or condition than they got them.

The LW's friend sounds like he did just that.

dan savages' words that is

Dear LW,

Perhaps people are telling you these things because when you tell them about your life they are bored to tears.

Or are you surrounding yourself with these fuck ups because your own life bores you to tears?

It's easier to judge them than leave your little comfort Goodie Two Shoes zone.

They are judging you too. If they are still awake.

Married man is bored,fighting, unhappy with wife, you're between relationships and know this is temporary. You'd never commit to such a guy so you have the sexcapade in Toronto. And don't tell your big brother about it. And by the next month you've found someone a little more eligble.

Or maybe not. So wash, rinse, repeat.

Divorce rate is 50% which comes down to a lot of liars(death do us part, my ass).

Most people don't plan on divorce, though, obviously they should. What does LW's perfect little life have planned in the event?

You always know what to expect.

And apparently the same is true for MySpace.

I was so happy to find grown-up girl bras at Target between the Barbie nighties and Dora the Explorer jammies. You can't beat a decent every day bra for $7.99. I long ago came to terms with having the same bra size as an 11 year old. And for $7.99 I'm proud of it.

It's funny how men talk about bachelor parties. Without giving specifics you hear about debauchery, drunkeness and every once in a while trying to put together bail for someone at 3 in the morning. I also hear how lame they are and no one really wants to go to these things but out of obligation they go get drunk watch strippers and every once in a while need bail money at three in the morning.

Yet, I was fascinated. But how do I see a real (male only) bachelor party without being the entertainment? I throw one, that's how. All I need now is for some one to get married...

So I found a venue called for strippers (two girls at the same time is way more expensive than having two show up at diffrent times, by the way) found an after stripper venue (bowling) and found a friend to keep the bachelorette company for the night. Oh, and I made sure I had a stack of singles to make change for the attendees. I've heard the men never had someone think of that before.

I am one of the boys. I drink with them, pull them out of bar fights, watch football, watch UFC and can string together ten swear words into one. I don't expect them to bail me out of a creepy-dude-at-the-bar situation. And I wear jeans and gym shoes if it's a guys night out because you never know when you need to run. And have a boyfriend. Who knows these guys because we're one big happy f'ing family.(Yo! Grab me beer while in you're in there!)

The night if the party I just hung in the background and tried to make everyone forget I was there. I wanted to observe and witness. This plan worked fine until Victoria announced it was time for the Best Man Lap Dance (uh-oh, that's me). While getting my lap dance Victoria and I had a very nice conversation and she made lots of money on that one especially during the eat-the-gummy-bears-out-of-my-cleavage part.

So the truth about bachelor parties is this. The guys wait to get good and wasted before reacting to the strippers because the whole thing is absurd. And women aren't invited because they don't understand it's a ritual and it's absurd but it's a guy thing to do. If they weren't here getting wasted watching strippers, they'd be punching each other in the gut to see who could take it the most and getting wasted. Or making fun of each others dick size and getting wasted. They're guys. That's what they do and most women don't want to be around it.

So quite frankly, I think LW is jealous. One of her own is invited to hang with the boys. And no, the woman will not be watching her husband watch the strippers. If anything the woman will be trying to figure out the most convenient time to stuff the bills into the G string ehile appearing to know exactly what she's doing.

LW has hang ups about a woman that is one of the guys, even for just one night. LW, are you sure that you don't want to be one of the guys? If you decide to jsut for one night, don't weat the 4 inch heels. They won't wait up for you. And don't order a Chocotini. And Western Union employees can help you fill out the form to get your friend out of jail.

LW should get herself a copy. A little comic relief for the upcoming drama of kicking out the kid.

And definately cahnge the locks. And beware of the visits that include a giant bag of laundry.

Yea verily!!