Letters posted here are associated with the following Salon Premium Member:

Amerigo

Published Letters: 2063
Editor's Choice: 76

Monday, November 19, 2007 09:31 AM

My Secret HIstory... no not mine.

In Paul Theroux's novel My Secret History the protagonist returns from his travels in the Orient and discovers his wife has had a secret affair. (Who snapped the photo of his wife and child laughing in the park and with what camera?).

After extensive research and nightly snooping in her handbag, he evntually finds a paper note from the anonymous lover in her purse, and after even more extensive research he finds out who the man is, a coworker of his wife.

She says "but you were so far away having fun in romantic places leaving us in boring old London in winter" and he says "I was freezing to death in Mongolia, longing to be home with you and our son."

After promising to do nothing silly, the cuckold tracks the spoor of the other man to a weekend dinner party at the country home of friends, gatecrashes the house, holds up the assembly with a toy water pistol and publicly makes sure the wife's suitor eats the note, then shoots urine from the water pistol in the fellow's eyes, and leaves. Initially the lover believes he has been blinded, and of course he is humilated in front of his friends.

I guess this is a variation on the panda punctuation joke, but the point is that it makes the character, Andre Parent feel much better and his marriage gets back on track, and on subsequent visits to the bank where his wife works he gets as much deference as if he had walked in with a real gun.

(Theroux denied that the events in the novel or the character of the wife bore any resemblance to real persons alive or dead, of course. The book was published in 1989 and coincidentally Theroux and his first wife Anne divorced in 1993.)

Whether this would work for the LW, I do not know. It seems to me that he and his wife need to sit down and have a chat about this. Are these affairs to do with love, or just scratching the sex itch? Maybe they can work out an arrangement of some kind. The grass is always greener on the other side... until you get there.

Most Active Letters Threads

490

The crazy, irrational beliefs of Muslims

Tom Friedman explains the real problem: stupid Muslims think the U.S. is about war and aggression.
426

A key British official reminds us of the forgotten anthrax attack

A vast array of establishment and expert sources do not believe this episode was really resolved.
227

The face of rotted Washington

Evan Bayh demands more debt-financed war - fought by others - while boasting that he's a stern "deficit hawk."
210

Is Obama's civil liberties record understandable?

Was it unreasonable to expect him to adhere to his commitments regarding the Constitution?
111

How dare you criticize wasteful defense spending!

So you think it's only terrorist-appeasing lefties who are down on Pentagon profligacy? Think again

View all »

Letters Help

Currently in Salon