Letters to the Editor
Amerigo
Published Letters: 955 Editor's Choice: 60
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Really Amerigo Redux
[Read the article: Men on eHarmony seem obsessed with women who are "clean"]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Maybe you are fastidious to the point of OCD, but you would not go down on a woman unless she showered first? I mean, that kind of kills the passion, doesn't it? All the preparation -- her showering, you doing your dental thing? Strange. I think after that whole production, I (a woman, btw) would sigh, give up on the sex, and take a nap or read a book instead.
Honestly, if a woman showers regularly it should be enough. Same goes for men, who don't always smell or taste utterly wonderful either. I am somewhat convinced that those who think otherwise have something of an aversion to sex, in that they don't actually appreciate the human body (unless it's been completely decontaminated and antibacterialized, of course!).
Well, as the French say, chacun à son goût (each to his or her own taste!)
In my experience of sex with scores of partners, showering and cleaning up is all part of the foreplay that sets a relaxed mood. Of course you don't HAVE to wash before sex, but the discussion was about meeting new partners and one likes to think that they may at least have showered prior to their date rather than coming straight from a hard day's work in a nursing home or suchlike just in case their blind date should provoke an overwhelmingly urgent desire to take a licking.
Recently published photographs on the Internet showing Britney Spears with what looked suspiciously like fecal smears close to her pudenda might dent the confidence of the most avid male fan and make him think "oops, she did it again".
Same goes for other minor courtesies like men trimming their pubic hair if long so that it doesn't make their partners sneeze.
My point about mouthwash etc. was aimed more at the fact that women are notoriously prone to urinary tract infections etc. so it is a good idea to have good oral hygiene if you are going in for oral sex.
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@ The LW
[Read the article: Men on eHarmony seem obsessed with women who are "clean"]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]You make some interesting points in your rebuttal, but the fact remains that in your original letter to Cary you expressed revulsion against the men who checked the "can't stand dirty women" box, because you thought it meant one thing, that the man did not like performing oral sex on a woman--something that is evidently a deal-breaker for you, as it probably is for many women.
Now numerous people of both sexes have written and told you that this is probably not why they check this box.
You also asked, rhetorically, I assume: Who in this day and age of running water and indoor showers is not "clean"?
Well, the answer to this is a hell of a lot of people, though people who are not clean don't often admit to it, and as you can see from the responses here, people have varying definitions of cleanliness.
At least the check statement as currently defined gives you guys and guyettes something to talk about if and when you meet.
A statement like "I hate having oral sex with someone who has not washed since they last took a poop, especially if they wipe themselves from back to front", while providing a more accurate scenario as regards likes and dislikes, is a bit more detailed than most people will want in the early flirtation phase.
If you want an even more detailed analyis, I would say that most men are not wildly enthusiastic about performing oral sex on middle-aged women, but if they like the woman and her personality, they will do it because they know it will make her happy.
Good luck anyway.
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@Brightstar
[Read the article: Men on eHarmony seem obsessed with women who are "clean"]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Good luck with your date, man. It looks like at last you have picked a winner. They say that once you go black, you don't go back, and I am sure there is a similar saying for Latinas, though I cannot think of it. Just be nice to her and tell her she is pretty, and I am sure it will go just swimmingly.
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Not always cheaper
[Read the article: Amazon's MP3 store: Better than iTunes]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]The mp3 is not always cheaper.
I was looking at a double CD album of The Best of Bing Crosby, a BMG import. The mp3 price was $19.98, the CD was $11.98 plus shipping, and there were brand new copies in the "used" section for less than $8 plus $2.98 shipping.
I think I would rather take the CD than the mp3, even at the same price, if for no other reason than you could rip the CD to mp3 and give the CD as a gift to someone else.