...and screw their husbands without getting naked. XJS AND ME is right, when you get married, you're marrying a woman who has plans for you--and your money. After a 20+ year marriage to a woman who gradually packed on the pounds and turned down the sex spigot 'till my thirst drove me elswhere, then divorced me and got half of everything (having never held anything but a hobby job in her whole lazy life), she's now got a fat bankroll and the free time to travel. I'm left with the house (and a new mortgage, thankyew, bitch), a kid yet to finish college, and a small business that struggles to make enough money to pay for that college and keep me in the house and putting generic mac 'n cheese on the table.

If I can someday afford a vacation, Taiwan will make my short list of destinations.

The real reason that prostitution isn't legal in more of the U.S. is because women are so dead set against it--'cause they'd have to get honest jobs as hookers, instead of screwing men by marrying 'em.

Bitter? Damnbetcha, bitches.

...you're an idiot. You bought a NEW vehicle, never mind what kind. There are loads of pre-owned (used) vehicles in every category, every price range, that don't require the huge utilization of ever-scarcer resources to produce, the total of which makes gas mileage insignificant. And the pre-owned dealers are just as eager to deal as the new vehicle dealer.

That said, you're also an idiot for buying a third-tier brand like a Mitisubshi. (Which also has a much less than swell reputation for mechanical dependability, and a staggering repair cost for virtually any repaired component.)

It is my sincere hope that this new toy--and that's EXACTLY what it is, chum, a toy, and you're kidding no one) pukes up a timing chain while it's hauling you and your family back from a sunburned, need-to-pee, cranky, hungry and crabby trip to Family Funland on a steamy Sunday afternoon. You'll then get to discover the joys of trying to replace a part on this oddball Stupid Ugly Vehicle. Dolt. Dumbell. Twit.

My view is that the CEO's of Lehman Bros, Fannie May and Freddie Mac, AIG, Merrill Lynch, and the rest of the morgage-related bailout list, along with every member of their board of directors, be rounded up, stripped naked, and forced onto the field of a football stadium with no way out. The stands would be filled with those hard-working and innocent minions from their companies who lost their jobs, investors who lost their retirements, and the rest of us, who lost substantive value in our investments, or major chunks of our hopes for a decent retirement, could pay at a doubtless lively auction for a seat in the stands. Everyone could rent, for varying prices, everything from slingshots to darts to blowguns to pellet rifles--nothing capable of a quick kill--and an enjoyable afternoon could be spent shooting the milling, pleading, screaming, bleeding pissants to a well-deserved, miserable, long-suffering, anguished, death.

The worldwide TV rights to this alone could make a considerable dent in this new debt, and hopefully, the next generation of financial "managers" would take a lesson from it, and mend their ways, lest they be next.

And to those readers who are alarmed by the above expression of anger and outrage, consider that it's healthy to vent as opposed to repress.