Pat... I don't like PC, either, but I used it as a short-hand for a "criticism" that is consistently made of the Left, but is still considered a "standard" for the Left at the same time. In other words, a no-win.

DCLaw... Why? That's an excellent question. I wish I knew. The only thing that comes to mind as a possible answer is that it is much more of a polarizing issue. Basically, you're talking about 50% of the population vs. the other 50% of the population, a more "even" (?) power dynamic? When race comes into it, the numbers are much more unbalanced, and the power differences are "assymetric," that word that everyone likes to use now when talking about conflicts.

Race is not a part of everyone's experience, even in this more globalized world, but Gender is.

Another possibility is just that men are generally stronger than women, so they can be sexist if they want to... just because they can. Race differences don't always allow that.

But I doubt that either of those explanations is really THE ONE. The answer is probably hidden in some experimental brain imaging, and where it intersects with one's character & nurturing.

Just as it was also necessary for whites to protest for civil rights (and probably still is), it will also be necessary for men to protest for women's rights, in order for things to change (at least on the surface). I am less sanguine about the second than the first. Apparently, Gloria Steinem is, too.

Again, present company (mostly) excepted.

My favorite is also by Frost, ondelette.

To Earthward

Love at the lips was touch
As sweet as I could bear;
And once that seemed too much;
I lived on air

That crossed me from sweet things,
The flow of--was it musk
From hidden grapevine springs
Downhill at dusk?

I had the swirl and ache
From sprays of honeysuckle
That when they're gathered shake
Dew on the knuckle.

I craved strong sweets, but those
Seemed strong when I was young;
The petal of the rose
It was that stung.

Now no joy but lacks salt,
That is not dashed with pain
And weariness and fault;
I crave the stain

Of tears, the aftermark
Of almost too much love,
The sweet of bitter bark
And burning clove.

When stiff and sore and scarred
I take away my hand
From leaning on it hard
In grass and sand,

The hurt is not enough:
I long for weight and strength
To feel the earth as rough
To all my length.

* * *

Apologies if I've posted this before...

I saw that earlier exchange, but couldn't comment then. Sorry I couldn't be your "second."

If it makes you feel any better, I always wish for that kind of man that he is reincarnated with the bladder of a middle-aged woman. ;~) It makes me feel just a little bit better, and I'm very patient. But maybe I'll change it to include something perimenopausal.

Do you know Louise Clifton's poem, Wishes for Sons? It's worth repeating whenever I have an excuse... like this one. (The last stanza is my favorite.)

* * *

wishes for sons by Lucille Clifton

i wish them cramps.
i wish them a strange town
and the last tampon.
I wish them no 7-11.

i wish them one week early
and wearing a white skirt.
i wish them one week late.

later i wish them hot flashes
and clots like you
wouldn't believe. let the
flashes come when they
meet someone special.
let the clots come
when they want to.

let them think they have accepted
arrogance in the universe,
then bring them to gynecologists
not unlike themselves.

I understand the pique about PC, and I should have used something besides a cliche to make my point. But, because I did, you were perfectly right to ask me to clarify.

Besides, a little back and forth makes it more like a conversation, and I prefer that.

Thanks for posting that poem by Countee Cullen. Did you know that Louise Clifton is also African-American? It makes her poem even more poignant to me, given Jim Crow laws, etc., even though I'm not sure she lived in the south. It's still there in the poem, perhaps because of her age. She's older than I am.

I found a short blog post with another of her poems that you might like:

http://poethound.blogspot.com/2007/08/lucille-clifton-poet-extraordinaire.html

Would you also be surprised to learn that one of my favorite books is Frederick Douglass's narrative of his life as a slave? And that I think it should be required reading, not just excerpts, but the whole thing...

I wonder if the outrage straight women feel toward male chauvinism is periodically tempered and quelled by this inevitable intimacy?

DCLaw... thanks for that insightful post. I feel just like Olympia Dukakis's character in "Moonstruck," when she finally gets what she thinks is the riqht answer to her question about why men stray... except that I think this question is much more interesting and difficult.

Ages ago, I posted something about this theory that I have that it's really women who want sex and men who want intimacy, even though the culture says it's the opposite. If you look at it all inside-out, it seems clear that women are conditioned by the culture to think that the only way they can "legitimately" have sex is by having an intimate relationship, and that men have been conditioned that the only way they are "allowed" to have intimacy is through sex. Unfortunately, one requires a longer relationship than the other... and there we are.

Those members of each sex who don't play by these rules are usually considered traitors to their sex, or subversive, at a minimum.

And that gets at the crux of your tempering and quelling...