In my experience, the scary, worried feelings decreased as the children grew older. Human parents are like all parents in the animal kingdom. They are fiercely protecive when their offspring need it most. When the young are ready to fledge, the parents let them go - release their protective hold (some humans do this less well than others!). You will always be the parent and you will always worry and want to protect but it you will feel less directly responsible as time goes on and your child becomes able to take carre of himself.

In the meantime, rejoice in the love for your child - that you have such a love - and spread it around to all you meet!

I have a neighbor who built a dirt bike track nearby for his kids and any others who wanted to use it. For hours and hours, for years and years this went on. The noise - the whiny, constant and yet throttle up/throttle down, continuously - drove me nuts. Some people here are talking about the noise of the suburbs but many of the things they're mentioning are temporary or intermittent, not the endless same sound over and over and over.

I don't like a sneaky dishonest approach. The LW is entitled to some peace but is not entitled to silence all the time. Talk to the family, try to work out some mutually agreeable hours when the kid takes a break. Kids need to learn something too about respect for others. Be nice, be friendly, but be sure that you have a point. Eventually the kid will grow up, lose interest, move away.

My neighbor's kid moved on to drag racing this year! No more dirt biking. The quiet is heavenly!

@ God's Country: I believe Cary was talking about how he regards alcohol and how the LW regards porn - not about the nature of those things themselves.

"I truly believed and hoped all this would change through my current relationship, but it did not. I started using porn again shortly after the "honeymoon" phase of our relationship had ended and I actually dread having real sex because in my mind my partner cannot compete against what is online."

Wow, I can't believe more people haven't jumped on this. The poor girlfriend! A boyfriend/husband watching porn once in a while is on thing, but his not having any desire for his GF? He needs to let her go until he figures out what he wants and can maintain with some passion, caring and love. I can't believe he's even talking about marriage and kids with this poor girl.

Actually "like you and I" can sometimes be correct. In this case you are right, but if the sentence was "He is a Libran like you and ..." it would be "I" because "am/are" is implied after the "I" as in "He is a Libran like you (are) and I (am)".

Good luck to you LW. I have been dating a man with an alcohol problem and it is very hard and sad to see a good person not really living his life and making a fool of himself in the process.

I'm sure it is a hard road but you can do it.

We all need a break from time to time!

Well done Cary. Knowledge that some of us take for granted is not a given with everyone. Cary gently but succinctly pointed out a few things to this gal that she would have been a lot better off knowing a long time ago. I hope she will take them to heart and learn them. Its all part of making this world a better place for all of us.

I haven't read all the letters but I'm wondering if you are just not really engaged in your work, maybe even a little depressed. When you say that you are into your music or suffering the pain of a broken relationship you are more awake or alive, it makes me think that you are just plain a bit sleepy the rest of the time. Maybe you are too smart for the job or it is just to dull for the way your brain likes to work.

Maybe this is more about trusting that you can make a decision and that everything will be OK. Have some faith in life, yourself, your abilities. You can make a decision and everything will be OK. What have you got to lose - really?