About a year ago I got out of a relationship with a man who talked too much. I would feel as though I was curling up into fetal position to endure it! It was literally draining and depressing to the point where I began to feel ill when he started talking or even when others did. It seemed as though he had no interest in my life. He had a few pat questions he would ask me but seemed to barely be able to listen because he was so eager to get the conversation back on track - to him! For him, I believe there was a lot of insecurity and self-"concern". He was thoughtful, in a way, but it seemed he would do things more for how they would reflect on him than out of true caring. At times I thought he was narcissistic.

I know other people with the same problem. It seems that they are just so fanatical about relating aspects of their lives to you. And the more they talk, the more they gather momentum.

I would suggest limiting yourself to a couple of sentences and then turing the CONVERSATION to the other person by asking a question, breathing deeply, relaxing and listening, THEN, ask ANOTHER question. React to the other person - laugh, shake your head, agree. Think of it like a tennis match - the ball goes BACK AND FORTH!

I didnt vote for this administration, I didn't support war with Iraq from the moment I read it might happen in Atlantic Monthly nearly a year beforehand. I feel sick to my stomach about nearly everything this administration has done in the past several years.

I will tell any Iraqi that I am sorry it happened but I will not take any responsibility. This administration has run wild with its power and is not supported by at least half of this country. If anyone in the world blames the United States as a whole for this and other fiascoes of this administration, they have their head in the sand.

I can't imagine what it must be like to feel that you have lost so much in a short period of time. I am glad that you wrote Cary and that he published your letter so that you can get advice from him and support from readers - many of whom have had experiences somewhat similar to yours. You are not the only one, but in some ways you are alone. Yo must be your own best friend, your own advocate. You must look after yourself and try to not let this become the main and only thing in your life. Eventually you will come out if this stronger, braver, more empathetic, more understanding, more mature - you will be a wise person and you will be OK. I hope your sister will come around - she is probably scared - but she may not. Keep looking around you and forward, there are still good things out there.

Take care.

Why would he even be thinking of this? Why would he be thinking of how he would have killed his wife?

Does anyone else find this rather sick, and feel sickened that its happening?

Falls into the anything to make a dime category.

I feel terrible for the families of everyone involved.

getting it either. i don't see what the big deal is and i have three high school/elementary school aged kids. it sounds like the principal is brainwashing you (and everyone else around her).

ok you people who feel the need to announce"fake letters" are starting to remind me of the brown-nosing kids in school who can't wait to tell on the other kids for the most minor infraction.

no one cares. go watch for litterbugs out in your street - at least that's constructive!

Here's my reasons:

It's usually tacky

and

the people, both men and women, are unattractive to my senses.

Yuck.

Do I shop at KMart? Only if I have to and it puts me in a foul mood - atmosphere, style and good taste count.

If that's your thing, fine, just not mine.

Dear LW,

You didn't mention whether you plan or would llike to have children someday but iIthink if you imagine what kind of life they'd have with your husband abusing you and perhaps them, that might be another entry on the "Leave Him" side of your list.

And imagine if you decided to leave him after having children - how difficult every single decision would be, how he would not be able to ever relinquish control, how sad that would be for the kids. Even though you divorce someone, there is still a relationship, although it is through and about the kids.

I suppose you may harbor hope that he will change, but what if he didn't, or what if he regressed later on? It sounds as though the chances of that are pretty high. You are still quite young. There are other fish - nice ones - in the pond. Best wishes to you.

She doesn't want your help in reducing her expenses (i.e. smaller home), but she does want your help paying her expenses?

If she wants to be independent, then let her be. It's her choice as harsh as it sounds.

where does the term "english Muffin" come from. I believe there's even some sort of Tudor-esque buildings on the Thomas, which is THE Englsh muffin, package. Have we all been spoofed, like Haagen-Dasz ice cream? Even my Danish grandmother fell for that one!

Oh and by the way, LW hubby, stand your ground with that wife of yours. She sounds like the inch then a mile sort, especially as you get older! Stand your ground!!

if he'd never heard about your 3-some, it would be just a matter of time before he started picking on you about something else.

I loved Cary's response! That's for you folks who don't think he gets to the point enough.