Letters to the Editor
Leeandra Nolting
Published Letters: 178 Editor's Choice: 10
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What the hell are you thinking?
[Read the article: A 19-year-old wants my husband]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Number one, unless you all work at a sex-toy store or something, what in the hell are you doing discussing the details of your sex lives at work? I've had a lot of different jobs and a lot of different bosses, and the subject of my/their sex lives just doesn't come up.
Number two, this girl's a train wreck. Yes, you can want to help her. No, you can't do it personally. She will not accept you as one because you are the wife of the man she wants to get in bed.
Number three, you know if you bring this girl into your home, she will stop by drunk and high at 2 am. You said so yourself. You do not want this to happen. You have young children living there. SO DON'T BRING HER INTO YOUR HOME.
Number four, this girl really wants your husband, for whatever complicated reasons. You don't know if she's REALLY into BDSM, or if she suddenly developed an interest in it as a way to get his attention. (My guess is the latter--not that I have experience with this, but I don't think people go from being nineteen-year-old virgins to being into leather just like that.)
Number five, it doesn't matter if you're poly-whateverous and like to wrap yourselves in silly string and peacock feathers when you do it. There's an old rule that goes, "Never fuck anyone with more problems than you." Never let your spouse do that either.
Number six, this girl needs to learn how to develop her OWN boundaries, not for your husband or anyone else to keep her out of trouble in some (sexual or otherwise) dominant-submissive relationship.
Number seven, I wouldn't trust your husband as far as I could throw him.
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It's a joke, people...
[Read the article: Women who run with the cows]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]They're making fun of the (mostly male) idiots who get drunk, rile up large, horned animals, then run away from them to prove their bravery.
Besides, the mental image of anyone, male or female, being chased by cows is just funny. Cows generally don't like to move very fast. Their udders get in the way of their back legs when they run.
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try switching ears...
[Read the article: My wife is terrible on the cellphone!]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I have a mild hearing loss and hate to talk on the phone if I can in person. Cell phones are a lot harder to hear on than landlines. (Even for a landline, I have to align the speaker right up against my ear--I've accidentally hung up on people by pressing the wrong button with the side of my face.)
I have found that my hearing is better in my left ear than in my right--whether from years of holding a phone next to my right ear or not I don't know. Or you could try a headset, or text-messaging.
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where the boys are...
[Read the article: Math doesn't suck, it buys you Gucci]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Hey, if it works to get otherwise uninterested girls interested in math, more power to her. This book was written for 12-13 year olds, for heaven's sake. It's just to get them jump-started.
As another poster pointed out, in order to spark teenage boys' interest in poetry, teachers point out that Andrew Marvell's poem "To His Coy Mistress" is about a guy trying to get laid. (It isn't all it's about, but it's a start.)
And there are plenty of theologians out there who initially read the Bible as teenagers looking for the dirty parts.
(Did McKellar capitalize on the boy-craziness of many girls that age with statistics about the number of males versus females in math-heavy college majors? If you want to meet an eligible, heterosexual man in college, look in the math/ science/ engineering departments...)
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four kids makes you a "megamama"?
[Read the article: Million-dollar babies]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Yeeeeessh.
Four kids isn't an enormous family. It's bigger than average nowadays, but both my parents are the third of four children. My aunt and uncle have four boys. My cousin has two daughters and two sons. Several classmates and friends were from families of four kids. These are middle-class people.
If there were a trend for the wealthy to have say, eight or ten kids, this would be different. But four kids...that's pretty easy to arrive at even if you're only planning for the American average of two.
It goes like so: You have a baby. You have a second baby. Perhaps you now have two children of the same gender and want a daughter/son, or perhaps you just change your mind and want three kids. And happy accident makes baby number four.
As to global warming, worry about what's going to happen when all those only children in China start buying cars...
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Cary, you missed the issue
[Read the article: My girlfriend tried cocaine at a party! She was drunk! Oh my God!]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Yeah, the LW has control issues. Looking down on people who have ever done drugs in the past is a real problem. The LW recognizes this.
But if college was "more than a decade ago" for the LW's girlfriend, that would make her at least 32. That's a little bit old to be experimenting with cocaine at a party "because of peer pressure." It's especially old to be stupid enough to mix it with alcohol. And for her to treat that casually--well, I'd be concerned too.
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"the right to privacy"
[Read the article: Lately I've been kissing women I'm not married to]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Uh...there's a difference between walking in on your spouse scratching his/her ass and walking in on him/her making out with someone else.
If that's all the LW's done in the infidelity dept. in 15+ years of marriage, he's better than most. That still don't make it right, and he knows it.
Why does he want to do these things even though his marriage is good and he wants to be a faithful husband? It's called temptation. It happens. Flee it. Avoid the situations where you can get yourself into trouble.
And for God's sakes, don't go telling your wife about these two incidents unless absolutely necessary (meaning she asks or someone else tells her). And if any of this ever comes up, be honest!
(BTW, I know there are couples out there that are OK with the spouses kissing other people etc. Bully for you. But this doesn't sound like that's what the LW or his wife had in mind for their marriage, and the implicit agreement they made should be respected.)