Letters to the Editor
softdog
Published Letters: 186 Editor's Choice: 8
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This "cheating" discussion has nothing to do with the cartoon.
[Read the article: WayLay]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Okay first, this was a well drawn cartoon with a decent story, not as great as the week before, but I'm hard to please.
I think it's a great disservice to allow this to degrade into a lame off-topic debate about cheating using worn and hateful gender stereotypes.
More on topic: How can one be so dense to misread such a clearly presented story? The woman struggled to undo a ritual to free herself aftera violent relationship. It's not hard to figure this out - every detail was spelled out save the violence - presented visually by a black eye. Which is how cartoons tell a story.
Apparently misogyny makes one stupid.
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Dudes projecting anger upon Lay
[Read the article: WayLay]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Tom Davidson - would you write that Keith Knight needs to "just, you know, get over it already" when he does a strip about race relations? Asshole.
Even though I speculated about the context of one "real life" strip, all the cheap shots from guys to this strip is disturbing. It appears Lay referencing her divorce provided an excuse for a certain type of insecure misogynist to dump on her work. If Lay wasn't a woman, or divorced, would this one strip invite such bile, or would it just be poetic?
Lay has always alternated between fables, allegories, surreal serials and personal / political work. Last week was an allegory about mobs, earlier was an ironic tale about flipping a coin. This one about a woman breaking free seems to attract the resentful boy club. As a guy, I find it obnoxious.
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Misogyny Ahoy!
[Read the article: Casual hookups cause "gray rape"?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]As guy, let me offer the following:
Real cases of false accusations and/or situations of mixed messages does not erase the real, larger problem of rape and rape deniers. As someone else put it: "It's a huge logical flaw in any argument - because we haven't fixed ALL problems, we shouldn't bother to fix this one."
All these other cases being cited are beside the point:
- Female teachers molesting students. Unlike male teachers who molest, female teachers don't get their actions hushed up and reassigned. Every single one of these women have been convicted and have done time. Victims of female molesters do not get their behavior put on trial, the defense do not try to argue the victim "seemed older" or is making it up.
- The Duke case. I'm tired of this being cited. An overzealous, unethical DA chose to charge before a complete investigation, but the system worked. They were exonerated and he's in trouble. It was the DA who did this, not the alleged victim - had he followed proper procedure it would've been resolved without wrecking lives.
One highly publicized case in no way proves a widespread pattern of false accusations. The difficulty of rape cases without hard evidence is documented, the fantasy of vast numbers of female false accusers doesn't exist.
If a guy is so sexist he genuinely believes women are inherently dishonest about sex, it's a self-fulfilling prophecy. Not only will he ignore obvious hints but also direct statements. The guys who most often complain about "not being a mind reader" are the ones who assume "not interested" is playing hard to get. Plus guys are equally evasive, as it's harder for someone to openly reject you if you aren't openly hitting on them until the last moment.
Plus, with sex as any risky choice anyone can be uncertain if they really want to do it until the last moment. This is NOT lying or leading someone on, it's being human.
I'm disturbed by how some guys are so invested in the idea rape is primarily a lie women use to get men, and that women overall are selfish, self-centered, angry, playing power games, etc. To these guys I say, projecting much?
How small and pathetic does have to be to assume the worst of half the human race? If you really think 50% of humans are spiteful, indecisive harpies, perhaps you should just take that final exit from this life you hate.
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Pherhaps you should consider masturbation.
[Read the article: Lately I've been kissing women I'm not married to]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I've got a few thoughts about desire and morality below, but the most important thought is this: Never forget masturbation is an option. In one's imagination one can be unfaithful to one's hearts content.
For many people who are not attractive or skilled enough to get multiple partner - or even one - it's the only option. Perhaps the LW ignored this alternative because he needs to prove he's still attractive, or maybe he thinks taking things in hand is for losers.
But if he can find time to get into compromising situations with other women, he can surely arrange some alone time with a Zalaman King movie. If sneaking around is part of the thrill, secret masturbation can be as exciting as vanilla infidelity, but one's partner is far more likely to understand if you get caught.
My other thought: One part of desire is the taboo, wanting what you cannot have, another part finds anyone who fits specific pattern attractive. Thus male or female, good relationship or not, your desire will test whatever boundary you have.
Desire itself is sociopathic, but how you act on them does not have to be. It's all about balancing an awareness of your true desires with your real standards. Closeting yourself for an unrealistic moral code is as bad as ruining a good marraige for a fleeting pleasure.
This LW screwed up, but not in an unamanagable way. If he's honest and calm about it, he can handle his desires, but if he romantacizes it with dramatic guilt and shame he's more likely to repeat it than move on.
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Ouch
[Read the article: Opus]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]That's what I when someone beats me over the head with the concept.
BB should just trust the audience, his art and the cleverness of the parody. He didn't need to explained what the song was and then, in the final panel, explained it was the president as a punchline.
At most all he had to write was "is that West Side Story?" People are either going to recognize the song it or have no idea.