This woman was a working mother, duh.

I am not even going to get into what a weirdo her soldier-boy son was turning into as of a few years ago. Maybe he has turned out to be normal since then I haven't been keeping tabs.

Just wondering, if you are an oldest sister since you've helped them out over the years.

How are you in conversation with them? Do you always know best? Have you already "been there done that" when they try to describe an experience they are in the middle of?

Do you cut your sisters off when they are trying to explain something because you feel they are messing up the explanation and you need to correct them before other people walk away with the wrong information?

People who are great socially with non-relatives sometimes have blinders on when it comes to how they act with family.

I don't mean to "blame the victim" but I have been the odd duck out in social settings-- as a child it is very traumatic and mysterious, but as an adult among adults-- that is usually not the case. If I am feeling out of touch with the group, it is because I AM out of touch with the group either because I am mildly depressed or just not in the mood to be social.

If my experiences with others are contentious and argumentative, and I am the only one having a negative experience while everyone else is all laughs and good times, then I am the one who needs to lighten up and go with the flow.

Also, people are not mind readers. If a massage sounded like fun, book a massage. Say, ooh, that sounds like fun, I am going to book one for myself. Your sister may have said, at that point, come join us, or maybe if it was too late for you to get an appt. at the same time as them, they would have given you some recommendations.

If you wanted help in the kitchen, you could have asked for it.

If you want a better relationship to your sisters, try to book some one-on-one social time with them. You get lost in the group and that is not the worst thing in the world. But one on one, out for lunch or a pedicure,maybe you can practice listening to them without playing the savior/critic and just get to know them as people and understand their vibes a little better for those future mandatory group holidays and such.

where is the happy medium between being completely overworked and being completely underworked?

Be grateful to have dodged a bullet. His fantasy youthful life with you is over. He was playacting at a love relationship. Now he has a "five year plan" and is getting down to the business of it. His family probably already has chosen a younger bride for him and he will marry her when they say it is time and either he will or will not love her, but he will do his duty and provide for his children with her.

Sorry that he dumped you when you were already in mourning over your father's death. Be grateful you had those last few months with him.

It seems that everything IS working out for a reason, even though you are in the pain of transition now. One day not long from now you will find real love and your feelings for your ex will seem so misdirected. You will be grateful to have gotten out when you did.

I am most sorry for the loss of your Dad and the possibility that you may have had a miscarriage (you seemed unsure from your letter).

I hope that you will follow Cary's advice and make a routine of simple pleasures to help you rebuild.

If you want more education, save some of the money for education so you don't have to rely on loans. But travel a bit for now. You won't regret it. Life will only get more complicated later and travel may not be as easy or as readily available.

I wish I had some free money and free time to play with. Alas.

Cary and Prudence OFTEN get very similar letters or have covered similar themes-- but this may be the first time they hit on the same day. Therefore it seems unlikely that plagerism is involved. But they should each address it and let us know what the heck is going on.

This article is heartbreaking.