I used to be this way-- when I have a few drinks I get flirty and kissy. Usually if the night is a long one, I'd sober up long before a one-night stand was a possibility, but I enjoyed the flirting and kissing as a sort of entertainment. Could be with a person I just recently met or a mostly platonic friend for whom there was some mutual attraction, just not the stuff to build a relationship from.

When I was a single person, this presented no problem. When I met my future husband, I had to rein it in. The first time it happened, I was only six months into it a very slow-growing relationship, and we talked it out and he didn't so much forgive me (he wasn't that hurt to begin with)-- but we did realize it was time to deepen the commitment we had and from then on we have expected more from each other.

A few more opportunities to get flirty and kissy presented themselves and somehow I pulled away. I had been cheated on myself and just didn't want to hurt the guy I really loved.

If you love this nice guy that treats you well, you won't want to hurt him. Never mind "losing" him-- you won't think about this from a solely selfish perspective. The prospect of hurting him would be enough to bug you.

I was honest with my guy-- a few drinks in a social setting I get the kissy bug. He benefits from it if he is the guy with me. If he is not the guy with me, I try to find other things to do with my friends so I am not putting myself in a position where I might get impulsive and kissy.

If you are honest with your new love that you are looking for ways to change past behaviors, then you are not cheating. You are looking for ways to grow and change and be a good girlfriend for him, because you don't want to hurt him.

Good luck. If you find that he's not the "one"-- that is okay too. Sometimes we are just not ready to settle down yet. He may be a great guy, you may not be ready to commit.

Just don't use him--and you will be operating from a morally sound place.

And studying the true health effects of marijuana intake methods (i.e., smoking vs. tea or whatver)on a broad scale.

I know plenty of people who are high-functioning professionals who enjoy occasional marijuana socially as they would share a bottle of wine with friends at a dinner. The result is neither drunkenness nor profound stoned-ness nor addiction.

I can't smoke it personally as it gives me a hangover the next day. Can't know if it is scientific or not, just know that I feel a let-down or mild depression for a few days following. I need to keep functioning so just say no for practical reasons.

But I am the only one I know of who gets this kind of hangover, so far be it for me to insist on criminality. The only people for whom this was a gateway drug to harder things, to my knowledge, were those people who were smoking a lot of pot in high school already-- and even most of those kids turned out to be high-functioning professional adults, just a few were lost to more addictive substances. Some were really quite lost. That is hard to predict.

That is why I hope I can keep my kids from experimenting with any drugs (incl. alcohol) for as long as possible till they get to college, and for those years I hope to give them some tools for responsible experimenting so they don't wind up in DWI wreck or in a psych ward.

I don't believe in prohibition. It doesn't work.

I guess the timeless appeal of these scare stories is the fact that every new generation of parents believes that they invented parenting and are thus believe they are the first to feel the pangs of nostalgia watching their babies grow up so quickly.

This is the same human trait that leads people to disparage their high school two years after graduating. "That school has really gone downhill-- it is nothing but sex and gang and druggie central since we graduated!" Uhhh... right.

Anyhow, I enjoyed this essay because it brought back memories of Bonnie Belle lip smackers and combs in the hip pocket and trying to get away with that Daisy Dukes paired with a t-shirt flipped in over the neckline look that inspired us to sashay like a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader.

In the 80s, my mother hated Madonna for the way she was destroying the morals of my generation of girls. Now, I think she respects Madonna's longevity and physique, since she is no longer a threat to my moral development.

Well, our blowhard conservative uncle died a few years ago and I am sad about it. I miss him and his argumentative ways.

I am sorry you get so much trouble for your last name. Your uncle sounds like a regular guy among family, which is a good thing. He says atrocious things on the radio and his voice grates on me, but I might feel differently if I knew him privately and knew a different side to him.

Thanks for writing. I wouldn't have had anything good to say to Ann Coulter. I am sorry your mom forced you to engage her at all.

When will the women fight back against this nonsense?