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JenniferC

Published Letters: 488
Editor's Choice: 10

Thursday, February 12, 2009 07:20 AM

At the very least, apologize to your daughters

Say, I am not good at giving compliments. I didn't really words of appreciation as child, and so I didn't learn how to give compliments as a child and now I am sorry if I have neglected over the years to tell you both how proud I am of you and how much I appreciate the things you do that have made my life so much better just having you in it.

There, just practice that in the mirror ten or fifteen times, and after your mouth has gotten used to it, turn to your daughters and spit it out.

Or write your own paragraph, one that specifically mentions at least one sincere thing that you appreciate about each of your daughters. You took refuge in the written word, you may find that writing is much easier than complimenting on the fly.

Then read your paragraphs aloud to your daughters. Ask them to have a little patience with you if it seems awkward because you want to say what needs to be said before they leave the nest and fly away. Or just give them a letter for them to read and re-read whenever they need a little lift.

Surely if you give yourself the time to reminisce, to look at old photos and think of your relationship with those girls happy memories will surface and give you the content you are looking for.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009 06:47 AM

Simple solution

Hand your husband the laundry basket. You have enough on your plate, it is his job to hang up the wet clothes and fold them from now on.

Your husband sounds like a control freak and a momma's boy who wants everything taken care of for him so he can study. Boo hoo. You work full time, support him financially he can pitch in with the environmentally friendly housework.

Stand your ground with this one. Oh, and wash your own clothes and towels if you must, if he is so lazy that he won't actually do the wash. Do it your way. The person who does is the person who picks the method of getting it done.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009 08:10 AM

It is not an anti-woman phrase

I think Ms. Traister is looking for insult where none is intended.

A woman pining and humiliating herself over a guy who is stringing her along is a damn fool. Most of us have had the experience and/or watched our friends go through it too. The reverse is true too, but so what?

Men can have their own quote and book and movie about how to get over the unrequited crush and not become stalkers. You can write it!

But men notwithstanding, women still need hear this phrase sometimes, just as they need to be told if there is a piece of toilet paper stuck to their shoe or a piece of spinach stuck to their front tooth.

It is neither insulting nor empowering. It reduces the whole artificial drama of wondering and deconstructing all the possible reasons why a man hasn't called back after saying he would to a simple "it is what it is." If he wanted to call, he would call.

Thursday, February 19, 2009 06:29 AM
Original article: Judging autism

@Allie--

Allie-- I read the OS essay by the mother whose child initially began shrieking while being given the immunization and didn't stop shrieking, and was then diagnosed with autism.

Obviously, if the first displayed symptom appeared while being given the shot, the autistic disorder was already present in the child. The screaming, likely a response to being painfully overstimulated, was a symptom of the autism already present.

That was my thought. I think that the thimeresol/mercury issue of the 1990s was a worthwhile possible cause to be studied and it makes sense to eliminate even trace amounts of mercury from vaccines. But the MMR connection is extremely tenuous.

I think that there is correlation, not causation. Symptoms of a pre-existing condition emerging or becoming obvious at the same time as the 18-24 month vaccine schedule.

I do think that the focus should move away from vaccines as a cause of autism and look at other factors, like the confluence of autism and reflux and other digestive and immune system disorders. Are they related or just coincidentally co-existing?

There has been a virtual explosion of autistic spectrum disorders in the past 15 years so more scientific study of possible links and causes is necessary, but people should not stop vaccinating their babies.

Thursday, February 19, 2009 07:18 AM
Original article: Whitewashing Roman Polanski

@Christopher:

You wrote:

Better include a clarification to my questioning above how old she appeared.

I'm not saying it would be okay for someone to have sex with a thirteen-year-old as long as the kid was willing. I'm just saying that if she looked older and he thought she was nineteen, and the sex was consensual, I don't think it could be said he knowingly committed a crime.

_________________________________________

Statutory Rape is not a crime of intent. Polanski's knowledge of the girl's minor status is irrelevant.

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