Do you like small children? Do you have patience?

You might take that graduate degree and become a nanny to a small child. You could read children's books to that child and bring her to the library with you while her parents are at work. You could do fun things like the zoo or the art or science museum and your employers will cover the cost.

You could make it your mission to expand that child's world literally and and imaginatively. Small children are absolute sponges and respond well when an adult treats them as the intelligent curious little creatures that they are instead of talking down to them and constantly scolding them or calling their milk "babba" and ignoring their endless questions about why the world is the way it is.

It is a nice enough off-the-grid project for a woman with intelligence to spare but no desire to join the rat race.

But insist on being above-board and that you "net" the amount you need to pay your bills "after taxes." At 27, you at least want to be contributing to social secuity and you may want to look into the availability of low-cost health insurance in your community.

Also, market yourself to higher income folks who want their child to be stimulated and don't want you to do their housework or be their personal assistant. You are looking for an intellectual challenge-- you don't want to wind up in a tedious position. You have to bring dignity to the negotiation table.

Good luck.

With Viagara, all things are possible.

Read "If the Buddha Dated" and decide that if you really want a boyfriend, you will stop equivocating and stop being so picky.

(But bless ya for the sisterhood philosophy-- I agree, married men are off-limits).

Just who in the hell do you think you are?

Someone must have really broken your heart once, for you to wank on so judgmentally. There are blessings and burdens in family life, and there are blessings and burdens in solitude, and as a married father who was presumably a single person once, you should be well aware of that.

But on the other hand, maybe your marriage was arranged for you by your parents or your religious leader, and you just don't have a clue beyond your own experiences. But maybe you also carry the memory of being rejected by that beautiful, independent "western" woman you once admired from a distance "at university" -- the one who would never be forced to marry or subdued by the forces of patriarchy.

Hang in there. It sounds like you have a lot of love to give and that is an attribute.

I am sorry that people have been so cruel to you. I don't think that you have misjudged your experiences. I hope you will grow emotionally from each good and bad encounter and learn to ignore the hate and don't allow people to use you.

You can tune these people and their negativity out as surely as you can change a television channel, but it takes mental concentration.

You must protect your dignity at all costs. That is true of everyone.Listen to what your good friends tell you.

Love, but love yourself too. I am sorry that you have a health problem that has slowed you down, literally, and given your bones so much to carry. I have struggled with my weight, and during my pregnancies gained enough weight to be considered obese and I remember struggling to walk upstairs and breath and how sore I was from carrying the extra weight.

It was a gift to be able to lose it to the point where I am healthy again (and not a thin person, but healthy).

During the times I lacked self-confidence and felt desperate believed what the magazines said about beauty, and believed the jokes and comments made by bullies, I didn't attract much in the way of quality kind men. I attracted losers and users, as the cliche goes. Once I worked on myself, on taking care of myself and trying to be the kind of person I ultimately wanted to wind up with, things changed significantly. I was celibate for a period of five years, by choice (afraid of AIDS)but didn't become bitter and enjoyed my friendships and didn't lack for opportunities for more than friendship.

You have to shake off the negativity. Look around and you will find that women of all sizes and styles find real love. Start tuning into a different channel. That is what I believe the poster who mentioned self-esteem was talking about.

You have to ignore the bullies, or learn to neutralize their effect. What kind of sorry excuse of a human shows up on a date and then tries to shoot a person for not being attractive enough?

You don't have to scrape like that. That person was NEVER worth your time and effort and your not being attractive to HIM is a blessing from the universe because had you been just attractive enough(to him- by his subjective standards), imagine what kind of hell you would be in today if you accepted him as a boyfriend? he sounds like the type who would have tried to make you grateful for crumbs.

You are better than that.