Dear LW, have you seen this movie or the play Angels in America? You might find that it resonates with you and be glad that you can look at the themes of repressed sexuality within the context of a Mormon marriage without also having to deal with the AIDS epidemic as it existed in the 1980s.

I feel bad for your kids but, depending on the hipness of your neighbors, they may be okay and adjust well once they see you and your soon-to-be ex enjoying the authentic happiness that comes to those who live truthfully. Consider uprooting them to a more liberal and gay family part of the city or state or even country if you live in a town where they will be harrassed by their classmates and church friends after you come out.

I mean, do what you can to make the transition better and less painful for them. You chose to raise them in a prejudiced religion and now you will have to shatter the faith you chose for them. I mean, really shatter it, right?

When the inevitable question comes up== why did you marry and bring us into the world knowing that you were gay-- I would focus on the blessings that they have brought into your lives and speak in terms of destiny and imperative and the unmistakable drive to bring them into the world with this lovely woman who is such a good person to be their mother. I mean, be respectful the lady who gave you your children. Ask her for the courtesy of not badmouthing you to the kids. They are 50% of each of you so every time you say a bad word about the other, your kids interpret that something is intrinsically wrong with that 50% of them. Spare them that cruelty.

I think you should come out. I think you and your wife need to send the kids to the grandparents for a week and spend that time coming to grips with reality. Air it out-all those years of thwarted expectation and the bitter physical loneliness. If your wife will admit she sublimated her own physical yearnings, if she fantasized and projected her frustrations on you, she may be relieved.

Make an exit plan from your marriage. But at all times consider a way to make it easier on your children. They will be resilient if you and your wife act like adults and not children. That means don't go crazy subjecting your kids to a parade of promiscuity --you are not making up for any lost time. This is just a new page in the story of your life. Go cautiously.

Oh, and the debt. Well, your wife is going to have to work. You are going to support the kids but they are not babies. There is no reason for her not to work. Fertility is not a disability. This is 2008 and we are all supposed to make a contribution one way or another. Being a SAHM is a luxury not a right.

You two are going to declare bankruptcy as part of this divorce is my wager. I hope Mormonism doesn't lay a big guilt trip on you about that, too.

That is why is he called chimpy.

The neocon McCain guy depicted in the cartoon, however, put a little fez cap on his monkey doll -- isn't a fez cap a reference to Nation of Islam? I don't think we need to deconstruct the joke for its racism.

Can you wait until your baby is older, less dependant?

I am in the same situation, a husband pushing to change geography for geography's sake while I have two small children and want them to have solid relationships with their extended families. I would like to be rootless and adventuresome, but the thought of uprooting myself and my children from our existing support network, to go try to cut a life in a city that is more expensive, more competitive, more beautiful and frankly, less caring, is a daunting proposition.

I think I might be more willing in a few years when my kids can make their own meals and get themselves dressed.

But my husband thinks I will only be more entrenched then.

I have no advice for the LW but I hope that whatever path is chosen brings happiness to all parties involved.