Now work harder, keep your nose clean and prove that your boss made the right call.

There is no way you could have used "relationship" skills to encourage this eccentric hoarder/slob to change her ways. I shared office with my boss once and he incessently sighed and clipped his nails and would mumble "Lordy lordy lordy" to punctuate any transitions in his day.

Having my own office was not on the horizon at this company.

I took the first recruiter's call that came.

As for the aftermath of getting this woman evicted from your office--you don't have to like each other, you just have to work together. Get over her stink eyes-- really, who cares-- and just treat her professionally. Don't bother killing her with kindness. Don't apologize and don't explain. Give her credit where due. Just be professional and do what you need to do to get the job done. She may look for an opportunity to stab you in the back, so watch your back. Watch your back no matter what-- some people are devious.

Some people get into higher ed trying to avoid the cattiness and politics of the corporate world, but higher ed is very political. This woman is a member of the old guard and times are changing whether she is on board or not.

She and her tenured clique probably wouldn't get on board with the department head's vision. She is suffering the one-down as a result of her own failure to step in line behind the leader. Or maybe he just dislikes her personality. The leader can't fire her because she has tenure. So he is trying to embarrass her in the hopes she will resign or retirein frustration.

It is amazing to me the resentment certain baby boomers have against younger workers who are just trying to make a place for themselves. I have watched these same baby boomers arrogantly push out the "whites" and "greys" of the generation before them but when the shoe is on the other foot they decry ageism.

It is a control thing I guess. I have watched people screw other people so many ways so I don't think any particular age group has a corner on the market for ethical and kind workplace behavior.

I have also had some great mentors of all ages who are truly willing and available to train and assist. They stay current with trends and technology and treat others with respect. These people, as they get older and slow down in productivity, are generally the most respected and least likely to be pushed out of the organization they are in.

Sounds like this woman has earned the appreciation and respect due her for being a good mentor, but is slowing down her productivity-- hence her office demotion.

Realize you are just a cog in the wheel of someone else's machinations, and enjoy your quieter, cleaner office while you have it. Nothing lasts forever.

Did the author speak to some of the guys who rejected the "guy or gay" scenario or did he create a false premise that all guys go through this social ritual?

Lots of guys in high school are nice, respect women, pursue a variety of interests in sports and the arts, maintain friendships with like-minded men and women, and are completely secure in their sexuality whether gay or straight.

I knew people who were embracing the boys gone wild behavior, and I avoided them as best as I could. They were always the ones sponsoring the house parties with the big vat of toxic jungle juice, and I think the aim of those parties were to get the girls to pass out so the guys could commit rape via intoxication. I remember a girlfriend and I running away from one of these wild parties as a college freshmen. I had been making idle chit chat, then had passed out momentarily, and woke up to a really big drunk guy sloppily kissing me and was like, WTF? Young women really should have their girlfriends watching their backs if they go to these parties! These guys are so hammered they don't even recognize the girls they tried to mate with after they run into them in the dining hall the same week. I remember rescuing a different girlfriend from a potential intoxication rape situation later that year. And the guy that was forcing himself on her was supposedly a "friend" of everyone while sober, but really he was kind of a self-absorbed prick for the most part.

It isn't that hard to find the sensitive, shy, smart, progressive guys on campus who respect women and manage to avoid the fratboy/hazing scene. These guys make great boyfriends and go on to become great husbands and dads.

Some of the frat boys who are not criminal rapists and sodomizers -- those who survive the physical and psychological hazings that they volunteer for-- often grow up and become good men too but I think that they need to sober up first and get the sort of courage that permits them to carve an existence for themselves, no longer seeking approval of their "brothers" or the group.

Sounds like your boyfriend and his slimy pals are case studies in this book:

http://www.salon.com/books/review/2008/09/17/guyland/index.html

There are much nicer guys out there. I hope you ditch this disrespectful loser and find a nice respectful guy for yourself.