I really appreciated Cary's response this evening. I have just failed spectacularly at something I am not supposed to fail at, and all I feel is amazing waves of relief. Relief that finally the failure caught up to what I already knew was going on, and was made open and official, I guess. Perhaps one day I will get some therapy to sort it out.

To the LW, I agree you should move on before "half" in love turns to "100% in love". This guy will be difficult to build a life with. Life is ups and downs and while you may not want to be with someone who is all fake upbeat sunshine while the ship is sinking, you do want someone who can at least show some resiliency and determination during life's valleys. A realist who can look at a problem and then say, okay, the past is done, what can I do to make this situation better?

Strangely, a recession might be great time to meet that special someone, see how they handle being laid off or losing their savings in this financial market. You will either see resilency in action or watch a person fall to pieces.

I think it is important during all of this embracing of one's dark side to remember however, that joy and bliss, however fleeting, are equally real experiences. We cry at our saddest moments thinking nothing will ever change, we cry at our happinest moments knowing that nothing can last forever.

St. Augustine, Siddharta Guatama to name just two.

I laughed at this. Didn't take it one bit seriously. I can totally relate.

It took me a minute to comprehend that the reason for all the mothering-themed essays on Salon tonight is that tomorrow is mother's day. My husband and I completely forgot about it until about a half hour ago. I said, please let me sleep in tomorrow and that is present enough. He said, what, you want me to skip my jog? I said, no, get the jogging stroller out of the basement, pump up the tires, and take the baby with you when he wakes up at 5:30 and let me sleep in-- really sleep in -- not "sleeping" in 20 minute shifts from 5 am until 7 am while our youngest sits between us watching Imagination Movers and trying to climb up the headboard for a better view of the t.v. set.

Guy watches too much tv. He should get out more to the places where smart women congregate and find himself a smart girlfriend rather than living vicariously through television trends.

If you are Catholic, there are inexpensive retreats available that you may spend a week or a weekend at.

There are even marital retreats that seperate the women from the men so that you can come together for certain periods of interaction, prayer and discussion, but then sleep in separate quarters.

If you are a Buddhist, you might consider something like Tassajara in California. They are expensive for lay persons.

Why not get your feet a little wet before diving in and announcing your retirement? Be honest with your wife. Sounds like you are ready for a change. Does she have a job to support herself in your early retirement? Will she be expected to support you as well?

Good luck and have fun tuning out from the material world.

Or not.

I have a forty year old cousin who could have written this letter. He has a nice girlfriend though. She supports him and makes up the difference between the parental stipend and the rent while he dabbles in classical music and photography.

With all due respect to you and your faith, I find it a leap of logic to say that Judaism cannot continue if circumcision is outlawed.

Permit uncircumcised Jews to read the Torah, presumably Judaism may coninue unabated. Really one shouldn't be required to drop one's pants to prove one's membership in the tribe.

After all, it is a human construct to box one in and say Judaism is dependent on mass circumcision for its survival.

If a critical mass of Jewish people change their minds, logic would dictate that the religious practice will evolve accordingly. I mean, in the times of the patriarchs, polygamy was common. But not today? Why the break with tradition?

Anyhow who am I to disagree with the Orthodox theocracy of Israel ? A lapsed Catholic agnostic mother raising her children as Reform Jews. My kids are not counted among Jews by the Israeli government. But the reasons are political not spiritual, right? Israel has nothing to do with me or my family.

The lawyer may cost you more than the inheritance is worth, but if you are upset in principal then have a lawyer demand an accounting.

I am guessing that the technicality is something along the lines of, the wife got everything when your Dad died, and willed it all to her daughter. There had been some lip service to the kids prior to his and her death that everything would be shared equally and maybe even a draft of an "acceptable" will circulated to everyone, but either the "acceptable" will wasn't properly executed and witnessed, or was never signed at all.

Have a consultation with the lawyer, who can call the lawyer for the Estate and then evaluate the likelihood of you winning a challenge to the existing will.

I am guessing the token sum offered by the stepdaughter is a very calculated amount-- i.e., what you would have gotten under the will that was verbally promised minus all of the attorney fees and court costs you would need to spend in order to fight in court.

Also, regarding your being a "tax resistor"-- if you drive your car on the roads and bridges, if your town provides things like garbage pickup, community policing and a fire department, then please pay your taxes not out of a fear of prosecution but rather of a willingness to share the burden of what you benefit from.