I am sorry you and your siblings are in this position. Your father and mother both sound mentally ill in different ways, perhaps your father is the more functional person but with rage issues of some kind.

A friend of mine was the sole voice of sanity in a family steeped in denial over her adult brother's descent into mental illness. It took over five years of watching his continual and obvious decline and a very serious threat of violence before the family finally unified in getting this young man to a psychiatrist for an evaluation. In that case, the mother whom he lived with at the time was the most in denial about his condition--being anti-western medicine in general, she had convinced herself during his worst times that he was on some kind of enlightened spiritual path that ordinary mortals just couldn't comprehend. Even after he was diagnosed with schizophrenia, she would encourage him to forego taking his medication and he did not improve until he moved out of her home. I guess my point is that sometimes mentally ill people can be co-dependent in a way that might explain your parent's marriage-- but really I have no idea.

I remember my friend during this time, when she was powerless to force her brother into treatment and seemingly powerless to force her parents to intervene to get him the medical help he so obviously needed (he was truly incapable of seeking help himself during the worst time).

It took a crisis, a kitchen knife, a 911 call to finally break the impasse.

My understanding is that the threshold to force an adult into a pyschiatric evaluation is the threat of an immediate harm to self or others.

Your mother is probably heading toward some sort of self-harm or suicidal ideation-- it seems there in the gist of your letter that the voices she hears are prompting her toward self-harm.

If you can't gently get her to a doctor's appointment on a voluntarily basis, listen to her carefully. Instruct your teenage brother to call 911 at the very slightest threat of harm to self or others.

Again, I am sorry for what you are going through. There is a little bit you can do, but not a lot. So go easy on yourself and do the best you can to help your family. Once you have exhausted all options available to you personally, you can at least have the comfort of knowing you did the best you could, and unfortunately, the outcome is really not up to you.

I hope that your mom and dad will both ultimately get the help and healing they need, and that you and your siblings will gain some peace.

when I was in 5th grade I loved Duran Duran. I had one album, Arena, their live concert album, and I listened to it for hours and hours dreaming of the day I would see Duran Duran play in a big arena.

By middle school, Duran Duran faded in popularity and I moved on to other interests. I don't think I have idolized any other band the way I idolized Duran Duran at the age of 11, but the fanship was not eternal for me the way it has been for this LW.

When I turned 33,a few years ago, being generally sleepless and out of shape after just after having my first child, Duran Duran came to play in a nearby Native American casino. My younger sister accompanied me after I bought two tickets on a whim. (She was too young to have been a fan during Duran Duran's glory days).

What the venue was, not an arena but essentially a hotel conference room, made the concert seem like something along the lines of a business seminar. The fans were mostly women essentially in the 32-42 age group wearing mom jeans and screaming our brains out as if we were still pre-teens. There is a cute scene in the movie "Music and Lyrics" that pretty much nailed the vibe of this particular show. The band members looked a little silly dressed/made up in the new romantic style, but essentially middle aged guys. Still talented.

It was good to go. I felt like my 33 year old self was treating my 11 year old self to a dream come true.

I think you should just embrace your fanship of MJ, but don't make excuses or equivocate for the person he is. You should be able to acknowledge that the man is fairly broken. Look at every musical biopic from Ray Charles onward. These people are not perfect saints by any measure. The are just talented songwriters and performers. Michael Jackson is among the most shattered personalities, but also among the most genius performers. You should skip a meal each day and pool the money toward your trip to see his concert. Find other ways to go without in order to save. But don't blind yourself to the person he is.