To forgive your Father and embrace your "Dad".

Skip the two word email-- arrange for a flower shop to deliver a decent potted plant arrangement with a note that specifically refers to some very good memory you have of the man. Wish him a happy father's day. Imagine how incredibly difficult it was for your father to experience the gradual alienation of his child's affections however much it was his own fault-- if you didn't have a better alternative to run to with homework questions you might have a better relationship with your Father as an adult. Forgive him, already. He may have been/still be an excitable, angry, hothead but it sounds as if he did love you and try to be a decent father for much of your childhood. Olga might have alienated him from you during your adolescent years, may be no different than the jealousy he felt watching another man step into the day to day fathering of his children.

And stop feeling guilty for loving your "Dad." He isn't a fake. You had a slightly rough childhood, you had a good guy step in as a mentor. You're lucky. Lots of people have surrogate parents they got along better with than their flesh and blood parents. Appreciate the man for everything. Lots of people get stuck with wicked abusive stepparents, you lucked out.

Have some children if you haven't already-- you will appreciate both of these men on a completely different level.

Love Cary's dead-on, wise, no-bs response. You can tell he put his time in in the corporate world.

Pilot salaries don't seem outrageous. But I agree with the customer service problems.

I quit flying Contintental after a bad experience about six years ago.

So far, the other carriers have been okay. I like Southwest, they are quite friendly and fares are usually reasonable. Haven't flown in quite a while now that we have a family of four to contend with. So yeah, it's costing too much now.

We were going to road trip this year before the gas spiked. Now we're doing a staycation at the lake about twenty minutes away.

I don't believe you really want your son to tell you that a bias cut gown emphasizes your saddlebags.

Really, come on.

I just found myself agreeing with Brightstar65. Boogie Nights WAS a great film about porn makers.

For totally unrelated reasons, I was just reminiscing earlier today about the story arc that had Don Cheadle's gentle character witnessing the fatal donut shop holdup/shootout while his wife and baby were waiting in the car-- and that subtle look of terror (and yet, opportunity!) Cheadle expertly betrayed before absconding with the bag of money to be used to fund his destined-to-be-successful boom box store in the early 1980s.

Fantastic film.

I am glad you survived your cancer treatment. My cousin is going through this right now and I hope she survives it.

What you are going through-- it must have a different spin having survived a life threatening situation, your spirit must want to schuck off the old ways of doing things and reinvent your life to be something purposeful, meaningful, "self-actualizing" where you can spend your days "in flow" or in "the zone" of total happy purposeful concentration.

I want to live like that too but my law school student debt is a major roadblock to freedom.

I need a windfall, a major subsidy that will pay my bills for me & my children and pay off my debt, so I can just direct my energies toward something more meaningful and special and not worry about the money.

But I am not getting that windfall, so I am like a little ant in the story about the ant and grasshopper. I just keep getting dressed and going to work each day, all the while envying the grasshopper's freedom even though I know I am doing the prudent thing, working to ensure mine and my family's greatest change at longevity and survival.

The only antidote to feeling completely overwhelmed and hopeless in such a situation is to find a few things in your life that give you purpose and meaning and think of your job as a means to an end. For MOST people in the world, a job is just a way to pay the bills, put food on the table and keep their insurance.

For me, my purpose is my small kids. When they outgrow needing me, it will be something else, maybe resuming some individual pursuits and interests that I set aside when I started having children.

I don't get to spend all day with my small kids because of my job, but the few hours each day I spend with them is what I really look forward too and what gives me joy.

If you are stuck in the cube farm all day, try to get in 1-2 hours of something in the evening or early morning that really gives you purpose and joy, that gives you energy rather than saps you of energy.

Best wishes to you.