On top of everything else, the grief over the abortion, the family issues, the new parent exhaustion, the change of scenery, the psychiatric medication-- keep in mind your husband is a now a lawyer.

Whatever kind of job he took (demanding high-paying firm job or otherwise) the first couple of years practicing law can be brutal on one's psyche and that can affect libido certainly.

Give him a break on the sex for awhile, but demand some physical affection. He probably needs it more than you do, but is so depressed he doesn't realize it. Also make sure that you two aren't channelling ALL of your physical affection to your daughter. It's hard not to compartmentalize that when there are so many additional demands on you.

And, while some married couples can brag of great sex all the time, many go through dry patches for a time. Get to the root of things, give it time and if you love each other I would bet intimacy will blossom again.

Good luck.

I have a bumper sticker that says: "What our schools need now is a moment of science."

As a teen, I was a devout Catholic. I remember asking my 9th grade biology teacher to explain the contradictions between evolutionary biology and what I had been taught about Adam and Eve.

He said, religion is religion, and science is science, and this is science class.

His tone of voice was matter of fact and I don't recall feeling confused or offended as a Catholic.

This was in 1987, before Intelligent Design controversy, and several years after the Scopes trial(which we learned about in 11th grade American History).

My mother is still a devout Catholic. I'm not.

While I was still in high school, I decided it would be a good idea (good in the "moral" sense of the word) to read the whole bible cover to cover. My Mom said, don't do that, it won't make any sense. She'd been taught in Catholic school not to read the bible, but rather, to read the missilette, the little book of bible excerpts approved by the Catholic Church.

I read the Bible cover to cover. What an absurd soap opera!

That might have been the beginning of my 15 year journey from Catholicism to Spiritual New Ageism to Agnosticism to Buddhism to Atheism. So my Mother probably had good reason to try to dissaude me from reading the bible.

I never had a science teacher try to persuade me from belief, though.

Now I am probably a cultural Catholic, so to speak, since I appreciate the traditions even if I don't actually believe the myths. And I am raising my kids in my husband's "faith"-- cultural Judaism. My in-laws are doctors-- research scientists, and observant Jews. For them, religion is religion and science is science.

My cousin has lymphoma, and I in her honor, I am donating to the Lymphoma Society so that science can find a cure. I am donating blood to the local cancer treatment center. And I am also lighting candles for her once a week at the local cathedral, because she is a faithful Catholic who appreciates the prayers.

Intelligent Design is for the weak-minded religious who can't hold competing ideas in their minds. The resulting cognitive dissonance threatens their faith. It is too bad their kids have to be lied to.

You probably already thought of this but just get some good term life insurance so that your kids will be financially covered. This way, they won't be a financial burden on their guardians. We had to have this conversation with our appointed guardians recently and it was so much easier to be able to say, we are insured so the kids won't be a financial drain, but they will need your love and we trust that you can best provide with them that.

And, appoint the best financial mind, the most trustworthy ethical person you know to be their financial trustee.

It is better if you can have different people be the physical caretakers and the financial trustee. This provides an extra set of eyes, some checks and balances ensuring the kids are well cared for and provided for throughout their growing years.