Wow great responses to this LW!! I especially love the advice from many posters to live life and fill our souls with the things that make us whole people. I'm encouraged that there are so many people out there who feel and acknowledge this basic life goal. So thanks posters for making my day!

That said, I'm a 45 yo woman who's already had and raised kids. My tubes are tied and I'm finished with that life. I divorced my second husband at 41 and re-entered the dating scene. I found myself attracted to younger men, in their thirties. I'm the one who brings up the "kid question" because I want to be clear. My last boyfriend was 9 years younger than me and when I asked him, in the beginning, if he wanted kids, he said, "yeah, of course I want kids, but if that doesn't happen, it's ok." Now he's with a woman who's his age and also wants kids. So, I think men don't necessarily tell the truth about wanting kids or not. Sometimes, I think they're not sure themselves.

So, in the aftermath of my last relationship, I sit here and try to fill my own soul and be the best person I can be while keeping hope alive that I'll meet someone who feels the same way--and doesn't decide later that, yes, in fact he does want kids. But, I can't control the universe. Who knows what the future may bring? I try to be open to the possibilities. I think that's one of the LW's main problems, she's closed herself off from the possibilities.

Good luck to all of us 40 something women!

I learned in "the rooms" an excellent platitude: "It's not my business what other people think of me" and it has served me well.

LW, I would let their opinions go. Whatever they wrote about you isn't any of your business, it's their opinion/bullshit and you don't own it. It belongs only to them. That goes for what you think about other people too, it's not their business--unless they ask you for your opinion. Try not to give away your power by letting other people's opinions about you affect you.

You would be surprised at how freeing this mindset is. Whenever I slip into wondering what other people think about me, I try to catch myself and let it go. I have absolutely zero control over other people's thoughts and emotions. I cannot change how people think of me. I can only change myself.

Considering the event happened to you over a year ago, I think it would help you to not give it so much weight. Instead of feeling ashamed (something I think we all feel WAY too much) or worthless, try to tell yourself that it's not your business. You can't control how or what these people thought about you. So let it go.

Good luck. I know this is hard when you're 21. I'm 45 and I'm telling you now, it only gets better ;)

Some good news for a change

This afternoon, the Arizona Democratic Party State Committee, meeting in plenary session in Prescot, passed a resolution calling for the impeachment of the President, the Vice President and the Attorney General of the United States. There were only a couple of dissenting votes....

-- William Timberman

Mr Timberman,

I googled the above to find reference of this resolution but couldn't find anything. I would dearly love to add this small spark of hope to my declining/disappearing hope for an end to the morass we find ourselves in with the current administration. Can you post your source?

An Ex-pat

...why we (the United States) are torturing? Why? Why? Why?!?

I am so ashamed of my country. So, so sad we have come to this. How is it we can now be lumped in with El Salvador, Chile, Russia, and other countries we condemn for their extreme human rights violations? How in the hell can we live with ourselves?

And echoing the above poster who quoted,

he insisted that the pressure did not amount to torture and there would be no permanent damage to prisoners, but admitted that "I would not want a U.S. citizen to go through the process"

I want to add my howl of rage and despair. We signed the Geneva Convention in an effort to end torture worldwide. So that we, too, as Americans would be protected from human rights violations. We have taken an enormous step backward into the middle ages albeit using "new and improved" psychological tools of torture.

This administration is fully aware of the illegality of their program, hence the "black sites." I'm hearing the fear and despair of a Salvadorian woman I met in the 90's who escaped, barely, with her life after most of her family had been "disappeared." And now we, Americans, are disappearing people. Quoting the ICRC rep:

He also said his organization remains concerned about people who have been held by the CIA since 9/11 but seem to have disappeared. In June, six human rights groups published the names of 39 such individuals believed to have been held by the CIA in secret locations.

What's to stop them from disappearing and torturing me or you? As far as I can tell, nothing. The fact that Bush is defending torture is unbelievable to me. How did this happen? Salon posters, please help me to understand this. Maybe you know something I don't. Can someone please tell me why we are torturing human beings?